Welcome back, once again, to TV Fanatic's weekly Gossip Girl Round Table Q&A discussion! Below, our panelists break down all aspects of last night's Gossip Girl, "Portrait of a Lady Alexander."
In our Q&A session, TVF editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and staff members Christina Tran and Leigh Raines share their opinions. Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!
1. Favorite quote from the episode?
Leigh: Lily to Serena: "It's probably my fault you have a father complex." Ya think Lily???
Christina: Blair: “Listen, Princess Jasmine, I’m sure every one of those horses went straight to the glue factory.” I’m always down for a perfectly-timed Disney reference.
Steve: Georgina matter-of-factly stating that she's "pimping out celebutantes for Dan to have sex with." All business, that G.
2. Favorite scene or storyline?
Leigh: Ummmm, this week was probably one of the worst episodes I've seen in years. I'll go with Serena yelling at Dan in the restaurant because he has really turned up the douche meter.
Christina: Slim pickings! However, I’ll go with the fact that Blair actually acknowledged that Dan helped her out last year.
Steve: Chair scheming. They do make a good team, even in slow episodes.
3. Would you hire Georgina Sparks as your agent?
Leigh: It depends how badly I wanted something. She's damn good at her job and knowing how to get Dan a better deal. She's crazy and unethical but effective.
Christina: No, because I can’t stand her. I never have and never will, and I absolutely hate that she is still around in what I thought was supposedly deemed an epic final season.
Steve: Definitely. I'd just be prepared to change my name and number and the locks on my house, because when you do business with the devil, it's only a matter of time until she changes sides.
4. Bart's big secret: Intriguing or disappointing?
Leigh: I guess it needed to be something really big, international, federal crime kind of big to waste several episodes on it. Why does Bart keep referring to Nate's dad as a criminal though? Has he met himself? Pot meet kettle.
Christina: Major disappointment! Seriously, Bart rises from the dead, and that’s his big secret?! He should have just stayed dead.
Steve: Of all the potential reasons for Bart Bass faking his own death, that does kind of make sense. Being rich is great, but not if it lands you in a federal prison. What Chuck decides to do about it and whether the payoff will be worth the many episodes spent on the storyline remains to be seen. What is Chuck's endgame with regard to his father? Does even he know?
5. Will the Dan-Serena sex tape see the light of day?
Leigh: I don't know. I think it'll be used for blackmail and maybe not released.
Christina: It’s only a matter of time. By the way, I loved that S had no qualms whatsoever about leaving her bag with Georgina. That was just so S.
Steve: It's already up on serenasecrets (dot) com. Just kidding, but admit it, you momentarily thought that was true. With G, you know she's already fielding offers.
6. Least interesting character: Steven, Sage or Ivy?
Leigh: Ivy has had zero use or entertainment value this season.
Christina: Ivy! I am so over her.
Steve: Sage. I just can't get into her storyline.
7. Biggest surprise: Dan rediscovering his moral compass, Blair wearing that green thing on her head, Steven name-dropping Kate Upton, or Scott getting a mention?
Leigh: I suppose Scott getting a mention was the most random even though I don't believe Steven got with Kate Upton. However, the writers know how to drop a line about relevant pop culture, so I'll give them credit on the Cat Daddy reference. Blair makes more fashion mistakes than not and I don't believe Dan is being truthful.
Christina: Scott getting a mention. I thought everyone forgot about him. Hey, I almost did, too.
Steve: Steven does have a thing for younger women, so going from Kate Upton to SVDW doesn't surprise me too much. Nor does Blair's headband (if you can call it that), for the reasons Leigh said. That leaves Dan and Scott, and I guess I have to pick the latter, simply because no one's mentioned him in years.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments!