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Hawaii Five-0 Review: A Very Cold March

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"Kanalua:" Doubt.

Know that I don’t say this lightly: This was one of the worst episodes of Hawaii Five-0 I have ever watched. After last week’s stellar Season 3 opening I’m absolutely appalled at how this episode went down.

I'll explain why...

August March: After waiting months for the return of Ed Asner as August March, I’m most disgusted with how his departure was designed. This is a man who has always thought two steps ahead of two generations of cops. Yet he decides to punch his own ticket by stepping into traffic. Seriously?!? Why were there not cops escorting him? Why was he allowed to just step out of the car on the passenger side and stroll across the grass into the path of a truck? Come on!

Catherine Getting Info: I’m all for Catherine using her feminine charms to get stuff from guys, that’s to be expected from the hotness that is Michelle Borth. But what self-respecting Naval Officer is going to hack into the WITSEC computer database by stealing the password from some poor schmuck in a bar?

Catherine Helps McGarrett

Ridiculous Computer Security: Speaking of getting info from some poor schmuck at a bar. First, the Government requires numbers, letters and a special character in all of their passwords. Second, I can tell you that none of my passwords have anything do with my childhood pet, family street or anything to do with me growing up. So between those two things, you are not going to hack a government database by asking a guy his life story over pool and randomly plugin random words he said.  

Muddled Case: From the art theft, to the suspect dying, to the getaway driver being murdered, to it all leading to a kidnapping... it was just too much. I wasn't attached to the art, or the car driver, and only cared about the girl because she was a kid. Hell, I never even figured out what August went to ask the fence for since he was the one who shot the brothers with the same gun he used last time. Add to that mix Chin Ho dealing with Malia’s death and Catherine stealing government passwords, and it becomes one giant pile of what I like to call "A Hot Mess."

Speaking of Chin Ho, the only decent part of this episode was Chin-Ho’s dealing with Malia’s death. The funeral was beautiful, and then he and Danny talking at the end was a great moment. I was glad to see Danny step-up and be a friend and family for Chin-Ho; if anyone knows how alone he might feel it would be Danny. 

But in the end, one good portion of an episode can not offset all the bad. Oh, and don’t even get me started on Kamekona new "venture" or the  lift and thrust ratios of the average touring helicopter – we will be here for days! GAH!

Here is hoping that next week we get back to a decent story plot and we get more information on Doris still being on the island. For now, I’m going to see if I can find some brain bleach to wash this episode from my mind. 

Review

Editor Rating: 2.9 / 5.0
  • 2.9 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.9 / 5.0 (148 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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Mrs-cleaver

I'm with JohnnyH50 - really liked it. Yay! Crime of the week was back! Course, as usual, it didn't make much sense, but I don't watch 50 for crimes that make sense. Sad to see Ed Asner go, he's a great villan. DDK did an excellent job as usual, mourning Malia. Glad Catherine has her "own thing" going on and isn't on the team like Lori was.
Shirtless Steve (and Danno!)yay! Carguments were fun, this episode reminded me of the first season episodes, which were great.
Only downer, MOM is back? Thought we would have a rest from the Mom/Wo Fat boring ENDLESS plotline.

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I thought it was a great episode, loved the carguments with Steve and Danny and the core 4 were great. I like Catherine, Im glad they didnt add herto the team, she is just helping Steve. I think its a great show and as long as Alex O'Loughin is in it I will watch.

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i liked the eppy....i liked that they were there for Chin....i get a kick out of steve and danny....not sure how i feel about catherine....i'm a "slash fan"....something seemed off with ed anser....did he have a stroke.....i think this eppie was BETTER the season opener, to be honest.....i'm already NOT liking steve's mother...she's STILL hurting her children, with these games she's playing...making her son think, she LEFT the island....only to have the plane turn around, once she was sure they'd left the airport.....i have last night's eppy 4 stars ( **** ). alisa

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I have to say I'm rather surprised at your vehement dislike of Ep. 3.02, Jim! I usually agree with most of what you write, but I'm afraid I just can't get behind your review this week. I honestly enjoyed the episode and I felt a return to the Season 1 vibe that so many fans have been asking for. Action, drama, humor, compassion and Ohana moments were all present - is it possible that we are just having too good a time complaining to realize it? August March was a great villain, but let him go,folks - there will be more dasdardly villains in future eps., I'm sure. (Jeez, it could even be Mom McG who turns out to be the nastiest of the bunch considering what we learned in the last minute of the ep.)! I particularly liked the car chase scene with the bus and the untimely demise of Mr. March. Chin and Danny's scene on the beach was very moving - in the future I see Danny being the friend who grounds Chin in the present and gets him through his "dark time". It was a very well done scene. Of course, there's always room for improvement, and a trip to "Shark Week" next time should spice things up! Thanks for the review, Jim (I think! LOL)

Chris1215tine

Is it wrong that despite the sadness of the funeral I was happy to see Steve, Danny and Chin shirtless? Just saying......... plus these comments are getting way too serious for what is, after all, a TV show. :-)

Immunity5o

CONTINUE! The final beach scene when Danny go’s to Chin was one of full emotions no words needed their faces said it all. Both actors did a fantastic job. I’ll will be honest with you guys I will never set foot in a helicopter if Kamekona is the pilot Max boiled the skull was gross I know this is TV but he really had a face of the guy to quick.. To bad the ratings were bad again this week CBS Hawaii Five-0 1.9 (18/49) 7.72 million viewers Next week looks awesome can't wait.............

Immunity5o

Sorry Jim but I can not agree with your review! I liked the episode perfect balance between all the main characters I Loved the Ohana moments, how they all where there for Chin and loved some comedy they showed Starting with the funeral broke my heart but it was a beautiful one RIP Malia I only wished they showed us more instead of that long car chase right after the funeral. I really like the way they used Catherine just enough and she didn’t take time away from the team she has a storyline which only involved helping Steve to look for his mom. I only hope Catherine will say NO for once to Steve when he ask her again for a favor. I loved the scene where the all hug Chin and Steve saying "That's what family's for." The crime case was to complex for me so much people involved I lost track When August March said in the interrogation room he was not going back to jail I knew he would commit suicide. So that wasn’t a surprise for me. The final beach scene when Danny go’s to Chin was one of full emotions no words needed their faces said it all. Both actors did a fantastic job. I’ll will be honest with you guys I will never set foot in a helicopter if Kamekona is the pilot Max boiled the skull was gross I know this is TV but he really had a face of the guy to quick.. To bad the ratings where bad again this week! CBS Hawaii Five-0 1.9 (18/49) 7.72 million viewers Next week looks awesome can't wait for it

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I believe they should have kept August March along for at least one or two more heists before they caught on to him - then maybe he actually had skin cancer and offed himself then. Two episodes in and killing off too many of the "good" bad guys.
Chin mourning Malia's death has just begun and he is brilliant. However, why did they edit out the splash scene from the online previews? Also, at the end, did they really need to plug the "Hilton" as being the place where Chin and Malia met? When they were originally going to get married, Chin could only afford maybe a weekend in Lanai... So how is it that not only can he afford to have his apartment painted, but also able to blow $300 a night to stay at the Hilton while it was done? Tacky.

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Thank you, Elisa!! I agree on all your comments, and for the first time I cannot agree on this review from TV Fanatic! It's a TV show, people! I'd be upset if I had spent $13 for a movie ticket and didn't like it, but it's one of MANY episodes this season! Not all are going to please everyone! I love the mix of comedic relief, the beautiful scenery, the team as family, and some villian to get rid of.....think about it, why would ANY police force have 4 "specialist" doing what the rest of the PD can do? It's H5O! Deal with it! And, George, your comments are annoying!

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Hmmm. I LOVED this episode. I loved the comedy, loved how they all mourned with Chin, but he got on with the work too, loved seeing Catherine go undercover. She is in Naval Intelligence. Means she's a Navy woman. Of course she can kick ass and she knows how to get information. I loved that. And the romance is slow and steady. She isn't horning in on the Four, she's working for McG on the side like she's always done, but since she's on dry land, we're seeing her work now. I'm totally cool with that. And I thought Ed Asner got some fabulous scenes last night. Before the roadkill part. I thought it was a very enjoyable hour. And no more ridiculous than any other of CBS's procedurals, where the good guys show up just in the nick of time or the bad guy gets the jump on a cop who ought to know better. Couldn't disagree more with your review. Every. Single. Point.