Criminal Minds Review: All In The (Dysfunctional) Family

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Thanks, Criminal Minds, for making us all suddenly feel like our own families aren't nearly as dysfunctional as we'd previously thought. If you can watch this week's episode without thanking your lucky stars that those people weren't your relatives, well... remind me to never come over to your house for dinner. 

Despite the fact that "A Family Affair" once again revealed to us who the UnSub was very early in the game, for some reason it still felt more interesting than in past weeks. We did get the intrigue of not knowing how Jeffrey became paralyzed (at first I almost thought it was a combat-related injury and he was a veteran - that'll teach me to guess), and we also didn't know his mom covered for his dad in their accident. By the looks of her, I'd have guessed that Mommy Dearest was the one to screw things up. She was one tough cookie - and not in a good way.

Hotch on the Run

First things first, though: Yay Hotch for completing his FBI triathlon! I thought it was so sweet that he introduced Beth to Jack. She seems awfully down to earth, and Hotch seems happier when she's around. Now if only we could get love interests going for Morgan and Reid, we'd be all set. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

I feel really badly for prostitutes, when it comes to their television portrayal at least. They're always being picked off for sport killing, and treated like no one will ever miss them or connect the dots. It wasn't until the "sexual surrogate" was killed that they really revved up their investigation and were able to piece things together. If they'd continued picking off the working girls, who knows how long it would've taken them to solve the case? Victim-ology says a lot, so I suppose they needed the deviation.

Things that were funny this week: Reid's, "I've seen an episode of Mr. Belvedere" reference in offering to babysit made me love him even more. If you're too old or too young to get the reference, I'm sorry for you, because it really was gold.

Also, him cheering loudly to make JJ, Prentiss and Garcia's hangovers worse was awesome. Not that hangovers are funny, but these ones kind of were to be honest. I guess JJ should've stuck to drinking those 5 Hour Energy drinks instead of whatever she downed during salsa lessons - eek.   

This season's episodes have become incredibly formulaic lately. It's almost like you can set your watch to when certain things are going to happen. I do love this show, but making it a bit less predictable would be a welcome change. And if they can't swing that, can they at least give us another shirtless Morgan scene? Okay fine, I admit it, I secretly loved every minute, sue me.


Editor Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (107 Votes)

how did using his name effect his life? it's like y'know how many adam sithms or jesse james' are in the world? couldn't he just been another eldrick t woods?..well, a fake one obviously but he wouldnt be able to access any of tiger woods personal data, right? know what i'm saying?btw lol to the plug at the end. i think i'll go to their competition instead now. thanks celebTV hahaha


@Michael no there is no law, just something that come natural to us especially as we are not the selfish ones who put our careers before our child’s welfare unlike your idol Hotch.


sorry did not know that there was a law stateing that only woman can be good at things


@ Michael
Women think they are more perfect than God, really when its men who constantly need their ego massaged. The only reason why this show is making out JJ can’t cope with Henry and work is to make Hotch look good. Wasn’t it Hotch that said to Haley that she was practically raising Jack on her own and wasn’t it him that wasn’t able to make his son doctors appointments. Now he is a single father that seem to have gone out the window and JJ who is in a committed relationship and has someone to help share the responsibility of bring up a child is the one that can’t cope. A little condescending isn’t it. Next you will be saying Hotch is the world greatest multi-masker, what does he pack Jack in his suitcase and take him to work, or strap him to his back and go training or better still leave him in the car as he out dating. So much for when he was crying in the hospital about not seeing his son grow up, now he just become a after thought.


What is this guy micheal talking about, how can you put a job before a child. When circumstances changes like hotch you put your child welfare before a job. Bring up a child is not just about bring money into the house, if the writers wanted to keep the storyline realistic they should not have killed haley. Now that they have they should be fair to jj and not keep showing her struggling to manage home and work when hotch is proving that he can have it all. This show was sexist when it started firing all the women and now they are trying to make out men are better parents and jj is a stupid woman who can't manage a week without her husband.


@Elise - I totally agree with what you said. I heard (via Twitter from one of the writers Chats) that JJ will have some very emotional scenes in Episodes 22 & 23 (maybe it was 21 & 22?) and when someone asked, 'what about JJ & Hotch together?' the reply was, "Stay Tuned" Hmmmm...
I would love to see those two together. I have not been a Beth fan and I think her nagging him in the beginning of the last episode about maybe he might have to miss the race b/c of work - was a premonition that she won't last long.


I don't like how the writers are trying to give us Beth, but I have hope for the writers, anyway, because they've fixed their past mistakes on their own and just might fix this one as well. However, I am intrigues by a couple of Will still around? If so, then only as a parental figure to Henry, and obviously not so much romantic anymore with JJ, which I'm totally fine with. JJ is now is Hotch's position, and I have the vague idea that Hotch and JJ will be bonding over the common point between them. If any romance ever happens on the show, it'll most likely come at the end of the show, and it'll most likely be within the team...say, Hotch and JJ?


@ DG How is giving them a roof over their head Food on the Table and a warm bed a night neglect. What the point of having a job if your going to have your mind on your family all the time Just look at our country why are most people out of work because they don't want to miss time with their family


@Michael, um I have a job thank you and I have worked my hours around my family. So I still get the best of both worlds. And no I do not just think of myself, I think about my daughter growing up without knowing her dad and that's why my husband doesn't spend most of his time at work either. What's the point of having a family if you're just going to neglect them by putting your job ahead of them? Like I said, jobs come and go but family is forever. If you can't make them your priority then why bother having one? But that's obviously not how you see it.


@DG You must not have a job because it is hard to have a job and beside what good are you to your family if you dont have a job see the issue is your just like Hotch wife you only think of yourself and not your family

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Criminal Minds Season 7 Episode 16 Quotes

Reid: You know more often than not, prostitutes are murdered and dumped in the same area that they work.
Morgan: So then why take the extra time to drive 40 miles outside the city?
Reid: Maybe he's already up there. He picks them up outside town, takes them to a secondary location, kills them and gets ride of the body as fast as possible.
Morgan: Which means he lives nearby, in the suburbs.
Reid: With 76,720 other people.

Prentiss: It could be personal, there's a lot of rage in these kills. Multiple stab wounds.
Rossi: What about sexual violation?
Hotch: No, the ME report says there's not evidence of sexual activity before death.
Garcia: So what's he doing with them?
Hotch: That's what we need to find out.