Gossip Girl Review: World War Waldorf

by at . Comments

In the run-up to Gossip Girl's winter finale, we were teased with promises of tensions boiling over between Dan and Chuck, Blair escaping her prenup after all, and another major scandal rocking the Upper East Side.

"The Princess Dowry" delivered on all accounts ... in an episode that was one of the most convoluted in recent memory (even by Gossip Girl standards). Still, it gave us plenty to discuss between now and April 2.

Only Gossip Girl would have Blair attempt to get around a previously airtight prenup, only to be shot down by the royals, only to be helped out by minder Estee, only to have that blow up in her face, in under an hour.

Behind it all was Georgina, who decided she was retiring as GG, but only after she blew the lid off a mega-scandal, then found out about and used an even bigger scandal as potential leverage, again in under an hour.

Meanwhile, Cece's will was read at her wake ... by the executor of her estate, William. All of her assets were left to her fake granddaughter, Ivy, spurning the Rhodes sisters and prompting Carol to drop a bomb ... on William.

While Georgina sauntered by, obviously, at that precise moment.

It was enough to make your head spin, but here's the upshot:

Chuck, Dan and Georgina

- Chair is no more. One week is like an eternity on the Upper East Side these days, so who knows if that will change. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" seems pretty straightforward, however.

Chuck was not all bad tonight. He fell victim to Georgina's meddling and while it surely would've delighted him to take down Dan, he was also motivated by clearing his own name and protecting Blair.

The look on his face when he realized what he'd done to the Waldorfs financially said it all. He knew he screwed up big time, but it also wasn't his intent. Chuck's not perfect, but he's not a monster.

After Blair "broke up" with him, he immediately knew it even if they were never together and those words were never used. Her heart wasn't with him anymore. Yet he isn't all alone in this world.

Jack gave him the blood transfusion that saved his life, not Blair's pact with God. It's surprising he wasn't told about this earlier, and Jack's return to the show this spring should be very interesting.

- Dair it is. Despite Dan's misdeeds in sending the blast, he has her heart. Dair shared a passionate kiss, and according to the promo for the spring return (below), will soon share A LOT more.

Dan coming clean about sending the infamous blast, and his desire to keep Chuck and Blair apart - even if his hand was forced on both accounts - only served to strengthen Blair's connection to him.

Blair, like Chuck and Dan, is an imperfect character. She's made a lot of suspect decisions this season. Still, it was hard not to feel sympathy tonight when everyone seemed to have it out for her.

Everyone except Dan, who couldn't believe it when she arrived in the loft at the end. Dan (not Humphrey, but Dan) has won the heart of the girl he's longed for, who he never thought would reciprocate.

She's giving him THE look she once gave Chuck, and that kiss was hot, too. Certainly not of the fleeting "I want this but we can't do this" variety. These two are going to full-on maul each other.

Dair. Is. On.

The Princess Bride

- Blair's marriage is over, but the dowry still hangs over B, since she broke her word to her minder and was caught in a scandal 15 minutes after she cut a deal that make little sense to begin with.

This was easily the worst part of the episode. When the writing is this bad, and huge plot points are just undone haphazardly in a few lines of dialogue, it makes it hard to invest in ... well, anything.

I've always loved Georgina, but she was used and abused like a cheap plot device tonight, showing up in exactly the right place at exactly the wrong time to wreak loads of incomprehensible havoc.

Suspension of reality is par for the course while watching CW dramas, but this was way over the top. The plot holes were bigger than the hole smack in the front of her dress ... a classy touch.

There's just no way G could engineered all that. She's like Bonnie on The Vampire Diaries, only at least in Bon-Bon's case, she magically whips up spells. Yes, a witch is more believable than G.

Georgina's still more believable than that Estee chick, however. Seriously, what the heck.

- Anyway, Georgina is off to Monaco, with a promise to have B's dowry waived in exchange for a future "I owe you one" from Queen B, and the contents of her "G.G." laptop mailed off to Serena.

Will S read what's on that machine, and what will she do with it? Will she become the new GG? G-3, if you will? If so, she can only improve upon Phillip's performance. Talk about an epic fail!

- Lola is Serena's half-sister. Or so Carol claimed while demanding he figure out a way to reclaim the inheritance she believes she is entitled to) and the UES just got even more incestuous.

Nate has now hooked up with Serena, her stepsister (Jenny), her fake cousin (ChIvy) and her real cousin slash half-sister (Lola), and of course her BFF Blair. That's quite a feat, even for Nate.

Still, I like Nola together, and know at least one member of our Round Table panel who wouldn't mind seeing Chace Crawford's "I want to talk about feelings face," so I can't bash the guy here.

Serena's Dad is Back

- ChIvy has evicted Lily and Rufus. Geez, that nine-figure inheritance sure went to her head fast. Despite my frequent lampooning of the character, that was a twist that at least gave her some purpose ... and power.

Ballsy move to throw them out like that, Chives. Does she really stand a chance of keeping that money? Was she really Cece's innocent, well-meaning caretaker, or was there something sinister at work?

We were led to believe (mostly by ChIvy herself) that she was just staying with Cece out of the goodness of her heart, but everything she says is untrue by nature, so clearly there's more to this angle.

Between Carol's fake and actual daughters, the family drama ought to be ridiculous going forward. How far will William go to hide paternity? If at all? How will Lily react when that eventually comes out?

It's going to get ugly in any case. Not even Billy Baldwin's smooth-talking raspy voice (despite being an AWOL dad, he's almost charming!) can diffuse what's about to surface in this already fractured family.

Maybe Eric is better off in Zaire, considering the way things are going for the family right now. Even Serena is looking pretty despondent and lost at the moment. And she's the ultimate IT girl!

All in all, it was a pretty crazy episode, one which could've been a lot better, yet provided the requisite OMFG moments and set us up for a fun spring. Hopefully. What do you think will happen next?

Before we turn it over to your comments, as always, here's the Dair sex promo for April 2. It's okay, guys ... late night limo rides notwithstanding, the first time is never as good as you think it will be.

What did you think of this evening's Gossip Girl? Discuss below!

Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
  • 3.0 / 5.0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
User Rating:

Rating: 4.1 / 5.0 (1025 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

Tags: ,
Avatar

Loved the ending. Dan/Blair is even better than I expected! Can't wait to see what's next. :)

Avatar

@Where's Waldorf If you understood, you wouldn't be constantly whining about them.

Avatar

@francene Then stop watching the show and drop it. @kavern The writers never developed their characters properly or their relationships for that matter, so it turned into a repetitive mess. The characters need to grow and mature, but the writers are constantly reverting them back to the way they used to be. @V I can say whatever I want, the same goes for you. Who are you to say what other people can/can't say? I'm invoking my freedom of speech just like you're doing right now.

Avatar

@V Actually I think this is a huge misunderstanding. Because I don't have a problem with the way the show is going at all. That's why I don't want to be told to watch clips or to not watch it at all. I understand that Dair needs to happen, so like I said before I'll look past it. It's my favorite season regardless of what happens to my ship. I don't say this about every season. I've never really taken notice of how specifically great a season has been since season 2.

Avatar

@V I'm not instructing anyone anything, I was only suggesting it to the people who are throwing tantrums all over the place. @kjo The problem is the writers never really gave Chair a clear break before, it was always on/off, back/forth, and yes, many people did get tired of it, which is also who each season has lost a lot of viewers because it became all about their relationship, they didn't develop at all, it's stuck in a repetitive cycle of 'I love you but I can't be with you because of some bs plot exposition the writers made up on the fly'. @Where's Waldorf It's one thing to defend yourself and what you like, but not when it's whining about it and throwing a tantrum like you're doing right now. Maybe you should form a fan club, it's more productive that way. @

Avatar

@ Where's Waldorf My point exactly. No one has the right to tell anyone to quit watching a show just because that person is not happy with the way the show is going and came to a public forum to complain. It is actually very healthy to air ones displeasure and let it go. WHy anyone feels this forum should be all pro GG or even pro Dan/Blair is beyond me. I am not here to champion a Chuck/Blair reunion cos frankly I do not believe they will be endgame but I am here to tell Anonymous that it has no right to be the moderator of this forum. Let people whine, let people vent, let people gloat, let people discuss. It is our collective inalienable right to express how we feel without imposing our views on anyone. Read up on freedom of expression.

Avatar

@Lame I guess so, Chuck needs to move on from Blair, she's not worth it at all. @Jarrod Mitchell Yeah. @Where's Waldorf Then don't watch it, you can just find clips online that you can watch instead. @chuckbass4life The writers don't care about viewers or the fans, they've made that very clear by pissing off fans intentionally. @tati She shouldn't go back to him after she stomped all over his love, the dowry problem is over and Blair is still full of terrible excuses, enough is enough.

Kavern

i'm a chair fan (not hardcore) and don't like dair but it doesn't stop me from actually enjoying the show every episode no matter how supposedly bad the writing is. i may not agree about everything but still it is a show i love to watch. and honestly, with all this chair, dair, derena or whatever shipping there is, i'd rather that they have chuck and serena be single and grow by themselves and let the dair fans have their fun. chair had their time albeit a very long time now, derena had there chance, many chances. self-discovery and growth involves only yourself so chuck and serena being single at the moment will be a great chance for the writers to develop them towards good. i want chuck to broaden his empire and serena to be taken seriously , and become independent to make her realize that being with man doesn't mean she's incomplete same goes for chuck.

Avatar

Is anyone else here a die-hard Chuck Bass fan? If so, link me to a forum so we can just rave on and on about him

Avatar

i totally hated this episode. especially diar! like no passion chemistry at all! someone please shoot me for excitement. they dont even match for a fling yet love or inlove! barf! seriously ppl be honest.cant wait for that to be like over. and as for chuck i pray the writers let him move on and be happy without blair and let she realize what she let go for a brick wall! and then have to fight to get him back!move on please chuck you desire it. and i dont like where the other story line are heading hope the other episodes to come surprise me for the better n not the worst again!

×