Two and a Half Men Review: "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"

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Well, it's good to see Two and a Half Men taking advantage of its half man this week, with the first regular episode to air after the two-part season premiere introducing Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Stunned Alan

So was Jake, a live-in Berta, and an increased dose of Judith and Herb enough to make "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food" feel like a classic episode of Two and a Half Men?

I realize trying to compare this show to its Charlie days is going to get old fast.  But I feel like as the show's first episode after the premiere, I still must do so.

So I'm going to leave it as this: the scenes without Kutcher almost feel like the days of old. But the second you have an example like Walden's dinner date with Bridget, it feels like a whole new sitcom... just with the same name. And that's a tough thing to accept after putting in eight years with these people.

I want this show to survive because I still love the other characters. I was glad to see Jake back and I still enjoy his dynamic with his father and the potential blackmailing of Judith. That felt like old Men, complete with a clueless, goofy Herb.

But Kutcher character is so poorly written that the writers can't even decide/remember if he went to high school? Come on, did he skip it or did he have a high school sweetheart!? He still just makes no sense.

I'm not even blaming Kutcher's terrible acting. You can see any of his recent movies to judge that. I'm mostly complaining that Walden doesn't add up. One minute he's a moron who can't put on his shoes, the next he talks like a programming genius who dropped out of MIT.

It's one thing to be socially inept and a genius. We see that weekly on Lorre's other brainchild, The Big Bang Theory. But you can't both be a moron and a genius. Lacking street smarts and not caring enough to take care of yourself is one thing, yet talking and acting like a child with an on and off switch does not make for social awkwardness.

I'll keep saying it until they do it, but they need to continue to tweak Walden's character if it's going to work. That, or just remove him and let the rest of their cast do their thing. But since I doubt that's an option, please look at the geniuses on TBBT. There's got to be some material to borrow from there.

Oh, and will someone please get Kutcher a haircut? If he's going to be believable as the face of gay money, the guy should at least look the part.


Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 1.7 / 5.0 (500 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Totally agree with the writer's assessment. The new show is completely lame. Kushton's character just doesn't add up.


@croc 111
LOL, good comment.
It’ll be just like rubberneckers slowing down to view a horrific traffic accident.


It looks like the creators are relying on viewer's sense of masochism for ratings. People tune in thinking, "How much worse this could get?"


This week's show was an insult to anyone with a decent sense of humor!!! A food fight...really??? How juvenile and NOT FUNNY! I think Sesame Street had more mature humor!!! Maybe it's the writers' fault, but this show without Charlie is a joke (and not the good kind!!!) Ashton could not be LESS funny or MORE stupid...and the characters who used to be hilarious are no longer because there is no chemistry between the cast! As I see it, there are two choices...(1) bring Charlie back or (2) cancel the show!!! You blew it!!!


Very unfortunate turn of events....The gay subtext is a bit much and Kutcher seems to be channeling his 70s Show idiot character. Some of the rare funny moments in the first two episodes seem to be dialog that was written prior to the Sheen issue. Probably the last season...even bring Sheen back won't fix this disaster...maybe Kutcher dies too and he and Charlie have a cage match in hell... the winner gets to return to earth...Satan is palyed either by Rose or by Charlie's mother


How did Herb's sister become Waldon's soon to be ex-wife? The kid can't act. Really need to bring Charlie back. The whole new format just doesn't work. Allan and Jake just staying for a few days.


Kutcher sucks!! Need I say more.....?


I was willing to give this a chance, but after episode 3, oh please, please, please get rid of Kutcher - it is embarrassing to watch him; why they made him another dimwit is just play off his idiotic '70s show act is just cringe-worthy now. (I'm begining to think that WASN'T an act.) And if ANYONE from the show is reading, let me clue you in to something: NO woman in her right mind would find this guy the least bit fact, just the opposite. PLEASE Chuck Lorre, give this show to Jon Cryer, the most deserving of all the cast, (I feel sorry he has to lower himself to this level) and build it around him and the other original members, bringing in guest stars each week to make it the must-go-to star vehicle for actors. Just please dispense with Kutcher - he's bringing the rest of them down and they don't deserve it. How sad. Oh, one more thing...don't bring back Sheen either...he doesn't deserve anything.


3 episodes and not so much as a laugh. Im done, no more DVR wasted space on this show. Sorry boys, it just doesnt work.


This show sucks,,,,wheres Sheen come on guys he didn't do anything to break contract.....I gave it 3 weeks, I have not laughed one time....

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 3 Quotes

This guy is like genital herpes. once you got him, you get him for life.


Alan: Remember, at grandma's we have to pee while sitting down so you don't get splatter anywhere.
Jake: I'll manage and that's how you pee anyway.