Two and a Half Men

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Two and a Half Men Review: "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"

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Well, it's good to see Two and a Half Men taking advantage of its half man this week, with the first regular episode to air after the two-part season premiere introducing Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Stunned Alan

So was Jake, a live-in Berta, and an increased dose of Judith and Herb enough to make "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food" feel like a classic episode of Two and a Half Men?

I realize trying to compare this show to its Charlie days is going to get old fast.  But I feel like as the show's first episode after the premiere, I still must do so.

So I'm going to leave it as this: the scenes without Kutcher almost feel like the days of old. But the second you have an example like Walden's dinner date with Bridget, it feels like a whole new sitcom... just with the same name. And that's a tough thing to accept after putting in eight years with these people.

I want this show to survive because I still love the other characters. I was glad to see Jake back and I still enjoy his dynamic with his father and the potential blackmailing of Judith. That felt like old Men, complete with a clueless, goofy Herb.

But Kutcher character is so poorly written that the writers can't even decide/remember if he went to high school? Come on, did he skip it or did he have a high school sweetheart!? He still just makes no sense.

I'm not even blaming Kutcher's terrible acting. You can see any of his recent movies to judge that. I'm mostly complaining that Walden doesn't add up. One minute he's a moron who can't put on his shoes, the next he talks like a programming genius who dropped out of MIT.

It's one thing to be socially inept and a genius. We see that weekly on Lorre's other brainchild, The Big Bang Theory. But you can't both be a moron and a genius. Lacking street smarts and not caring enough to take care of yourself is one thing, yet talking and acting like a child with an on and off switch does not make for social awkwardness.

I'll keep saying it until they do it, but they need to continue to tweak Walden's character if it's going to work. That, or just remove him and let the rest of their cast do their thing. But since I doubt that's an option, please look at the geniuses on TBBT. There's got to be some material to borrow from there.

Oh, and will someone please get Kutcher a haircut? If he's going to be believable as the face of gay money, the guy should at least look the part.

Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 1.7 / 5.0 (500 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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I miss Charlie but the show could be better if Ashton could act... now if the show survives is thanks to Alan, Berta and Jake

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This show isn't the same without Charlie...........the Alan character is way too annoying without Charlie as a foil. As for Kutcher's character Walden, he's boring and irritating. I've watched this show since the beginning, but think I'm going to be turning off very very shortly. Charlie Sheen/Charlie Harper made the show. PS I do love Jake though!

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I have loved two and a half men since the start. I am fan of the entire cast but without Charlie the chemistry is just not there. I have nothing against Ashton loved him as Kelso. I watched the new episodes with an open mind but after 3 I can't take it anymore. I don't think you can replace Charlie's character with Kelso!!!!!

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@MJR - Sorry to burst your bubble but Berta, Jake and Alan DO NOT continue to be awesome! This show really does need Charlie, and nobody, but nobody can fill his shoes no matter what you think! He's the glue that holds the entire cast together. The co-stars (although good) just cannot do it alone. And Alan doesn't have what it takes to be the star player. And Kutcher should not even be in the picture - he's the one ruining the show and bring down everyone with him!

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The show has gone down hill so fast. Get ashton off the boohoo my life is over i'm not married anymore already and let him cut loose and have fun. Charlie was a drunk womanizer, can you get ashton to that point already. Who wants to watch some guy crying and being depressed all the time. Make us laugh, or get someone else that can play the part of Charlie. And John Cryer is just pathetic without Charlie Sheen upholding him

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hahahahahahaa weird responses. i respect all of you.... ashton, is a wise young soul, but thats like taking off john lennon off the beatles, or taking off homer from the simpsons.. hahahaha live on kutcher, stick with movies like just married... i liked that movie.. quit buddy.

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Chuck? Is that you? Is that the guy who courted Charlie Sheen and built a show around him with a great supporting cast? Is that really you? The guy who assembled a team of producers, writers and a production team that made us laugh our brains out with a great show? I don't recognize you anymore. What's happened to you? You look like you've lost a lot of ratings weight. Almost 11 million viewers worth in just 3 episodes. You're looking really thin on Monday nights now. Almost haunted and gaunt. Your scripts are paper thin, your actors look like they're in some British stage play. And the laughs are so thin I had to switch to a commercial to find something funny to laugh at. What's happened to that Malibu beach house with Charlie, Evelyn, Alan and Jake? Why am I staring at a bearded Kelso who spends a lot of time acting like he's still in grade 3? Oh Chuck please come back to us and deliver the goods. Please put us and you out of our collective misery. Charlie's not coming back, he's got a comeback. It's his next sitcom. What do you have? Like I said. I didn't recognize you. You're different. You don't have the verve and swerve and the breezy one liners. What's going on?

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Charlie come back!! All is forgiven.

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I know I have talked the new two and a half men show a few weeks now . But to night I want to tell all the people that like the way chuck loree had gone with the show 2 .5 I use to love watching the showed with Charlie in them because it made me laugh and forget how bad my life was just for 30 minutes .. I remember once I came home from the hospital very sick and Charlie made the joke about rose glued his privates together to make them look like a fruit bat .. I laugh so hard my wife and daughter came running in my room .and ask are you ok. They had not heard me laugh in years . See I was told.that week that my heart wad only working 20% C.H. F .. any way ..I was giving Chuck Loree a chance with the big bang theory show .. you see to night I wad heart broken .it was like my heart was broken into . Like when someone hurt you so bad you ask yourself will I make it through this ..Congestive Heart Failure .. when the doctor tell you that you have that at 49 man it kicks the props out from you .but to night on chuck loree's Big Bang Theory , well Howards wife to be had a joke about handing out placebo med .she said after penny told her this girl is married .the girl told Penny that ok her husband has Congestive Heart Failure and while she laughed she said I am sure her husband is getting placebo it want matter if his wife date Raj . Well it made me feel as a husband and a person with C.H.F. it broke my heart and made me feel my life is not important as a husband ,person an no one cares about me or people that suffer with C.H.F. my aunt died last year with this she smothered to death fluid filled lungs suffering for air . So If Chuck Loree make jokes about C.H.F. and a man not getting his Corey and Altace meds. Just suffer to death so some Raj can date your wife while you die..that hurts so many people ..next thing you know he make fun of breast cancer .. every thing is on Chuck Loree's table he just has no morals ... Or heart or conscience no heart ..he hurt me tonight it dealt like the day the doctor told me sir you may have five teas to live ..no more 2.5 no more Big Bang Theory .no more Chuck Loree producer.. I pray he does not reap what he soe's

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Please no more. Ashton Kutcher as a geek??? No way..not believable. Just too painful to watch. Get rid of Ashton Kutcher and bring in.....Seth rogen!!! Get rid of the geek line and bring back the humor!

Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 3 Quotes

This guy is like genital herpes. once you got him, you get him for life.

Berta

Alan: Remember, at grandma's we have to pee while sitting down so you don't get splatter anywhere.
Jake: I'll manage and that's how you pee anyway.