Gossip Girl Round Table: "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan"

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Welcome to another Gossip Girl Round Table discussion! Below, our panel breaks down the most recent episode (see our official review from Monday night) of our favorite show in detail.

Below, TV Fanatic CEO Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy), editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines talk "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!

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What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: Blair letting loose on Dan that “there is no us!” Leighton Meester continues to carry each episode (with the help of Lonely Boy of course).

Christina: Dan to Sabrina, I mean Serena: “If you can’t tell the difference between what I did to Blair and what I did to you, then maybe your portrayal in the book is more accurate than you thought.” Well said, Lonely Boy. And once again, S is ridiculously oblivious and narcissistic as ever.  

Leigh: Dan to Chuck: "I'm guessing my dad's probably halfway through and Nate's probably on page 20." Because if that's not the most realistic thing ever said on this show... I don't know what is.

Steve: I'll mix it up and take a serious one - Blair telling Louis to start trusting her or let her go. Good for her. Yes, she's Blair Waldorf, a complicated girl on her best day and a shady one on her worst. But she means well, and she's been always honest with him ... well, except for that silly envelope.

Eric: Is this even a question? Pretty much everything when Chuck and Dan sat down to discuss the book. But the obvious winner? Chuck not having a problem with the suicide, just that it was a belt and not a scarf.

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What surprised you most about Dan's book?

Courtney: Besides that it was at the top of the Amazon book list? That he would go as low as ripping his father. Serena, Blair, Chuck... they have all deserved it at some point, but his dad? Cold.

Christina: “Derek.” I loved the look on Nate’s face when Chuck informed him his character was meshed with Eric’s.

Leigh: I was actually really surprised that he killed Chuck and the manner in which it happened. Erotic asphyxiation? What show is this? Nip/Tuck? (BTW re-watch if you don't realize that's what happened).

Steve: First I want to comment on what a great storyline this was overall. It really explored the characters in a way we haven't seen in some time. As for what surprised me most, probably that Dan had sex with Blair ... in his dreams. Come on Dan, we know you want to and all, but I thought the book was semi-autobiographical. Blending Nate and Eric came out of nowhere, too.

Eric: The the publicist told Dan to leave the beard, but didn't even comment on the muppet hair. No one doing promotion for anything would ever let him out of the house looking like that.  Wait, how do they let Penn film Gossip Girl with that mop?

Who did Dan sell out hardest?

Courtney: Like I said before, Rufus... all the way. Who cares if Rufus really is a washed up rocker who married for money? He is his father. Besides Dan has no problem being a part of a world with money. And anyways, Rufus and Lily were together years earlier when he was still rocking with Lincoln Hawk. Definitely wouldn't say he married for money.

Christina: Nate. I, too, thought they were “best friends” and Nate was important enough to get his own character. Hats off to Nate, though, for throwing the biggest hissy fit of all of the characters. It was kind of cute and probably foreshadowing of Nate’s de-friending of Dan.

Leigh: Selling out your own father who was your only friend next to Cedric the Cabbage Patch kid is really deep. Dan's smarter than to think Rufus only married Lily for money and that he's in any way a sellout.

Steve: Blair. He allegedly never intended this to be published, but to write that he had sex with his friend, who is now engaged to someone else? Even if we assume he took creative license, that's still pushing it. And if by some chance it did happen (last night didn't make it seem like it), then he really sold her out.

Eric: RUFUS! I mean, he didn't say anything worse than our Round Table has been saying about the washed up has been. But from your own son? That burns harder than Gossip Guy. Whatever happened to the dude?

Big Night For Dan

Most difficult to believe: Dan being #4 on Amazon, no one besides Chuck bothering to read the book, or Serena's reputation being hurt at work over a fictional character?

Courtney: I agree with Christina. There is no way that Daniel Day-Lewis, an Oscar winner, would even know about the newest UES scandal book. Or even more that an assistant at the company was a character in it and that was what turned him off.

Christina: Definitely Serena's “reputation” or the lack thereof ... As if Daniel Day-Lewis would give a crap about the UES.

Leigh: Is there any doubt it was the Daniel Day Lewis situation? I mean c'mon writers, at least pick an actor who might actually give a crap. And by actor, I mean a real housewife.

Steve: For argument's sake, the fact that none of the crew besides Chuck was even a little curious. Okay, Nate's just a slow reader, but Blair and Serena openly eschewed the book. Given their respective roles in Dan's life, wouldn't you think they'd be clamoring to read how he portrayed them?

Eric: Yeah I agree with everyone on Serena's rep and Daniel Day Lewis. Beyond silly. Besides, I personally would buy enough copies of Inside to make it to #4.

Everyone hates him now, but who will be the first to become friends with Dan again?

Courtney: Well it definitely isn’t going to be Nate!! Chuck isn’t mad at him so at least he has one person who is sort of his friend. Blair will be the first to return to his side. These two have become really good friends who need each other. Blair is not about to embark on her pregnancy journey without Lonely Boy and his Netflix.

Christina: Blair, always the damsel in distress, will be the first to forgive and forget. She seemingly always gets over things fairly quickly. As of late, Dan has been her shoulder to lean on and lap to cry on, so she needs to get over this novel fiasco fast and be there for Dan as he has been there for her in recent crummy times.

Leigh: Blair will need him. Otherwise I'd say Nate because Dan could buy him a bag of weed and an ice cream cone and everything would be gravy.

Steve: Nate. Considering how Serena and Rufus were eviscerated and Chuck died alone, he'll come to realize that being an irrelevant gay player wasn't so bad.

Eric: Duh, Serena. Not out of true friendship, but the girl has some movie rights to secure. Who wouldn't fall for those legs?

Blair With Chuck

Are Chuck and Blair destined to be together?

Courtney: These two used to be perfect for each other because they were scandalous and always up to something. They were a “get what we want when we want it” type couple. But since their time apart, they both have grown up and matured... for the most part. I think they are even better for each other now than before. So in one word... yes!

Christina: Haven’t you heard, “love’s an excuse to get hurt”? Speaking on behalf of all Chair fans, my response is: of course Chuck and Blair are destined to be together!

Leigh: This is a loaded question considering how passionate some of our readers are. However I've never wavered from my stance on Team Chair.

Steve: The show certainly took that direction last night, didn't it? I think Dan and Blair have made the show for much of the past year, but it's looking like a romance just isn't in the cards (except in Inside). Unless the writers listened to Penn Badgley and craft the mother of all surprises coming up. Wouldn't that be something? Here's hoping, Dair fans. Here's hoping.

Eric: Still? Chuck has Monkey and Blair has an equally stupid, loyal creature. Can't we move on to discuss what's going to happen to the prettiest couple on the show? Diana and Nate? My prediction. Nate realizes Derek wasn't so much of a mashup of his character so much as his future.

Who should star in Inside: The Movie?

Courtney: Well knowing Serena’s luck, she would end up playing herself. Blair probably wouldn’t allow anyone else to play her. And there is no one who could do justice for the infamous Chuck Bass. But if I had to pick a real actor/actress... I would definitely go Selena Gomez for Blair. I just saw a commercial for a movie they were in together and they looked super cute as BFFs.

Christina: Well, since everyone responded immediately and then dropped what they were doing to meet up ... during the day ... just for a mysterious text ... requesting their presence by none other than ... Dan, I’m betting everyone’s calendars aren’t too set in stone. Couldn’t they do a reality ... movie?!

Leigh: It's really hard to picture anyone else playing these roles but for the sake of the game, I'll give it a whirl. Keeping it in the CW family: Sabrina - Naomi from 90210. Claire - Elena from Vampire Diaries. Derek - Liam from 90210. Charlie - Damon from Vampire Diaries. Dylan Hunter - this is a toughie so I'm going to say Scott Porter purely because he's underused on Hart of Dixie and I love him on FNL.

Steve: Adam Brody as Dylan/Dan. Joseph Morgan as Charlie/Chuck. Zac Efron as Derek. Lindsay Lohan as Serena/Sabrina. Pippa Middleton as Blair. Kaylee DeFer as whatever poorly acted, ancillary character(s) they need filled at the last minute.

Eric: Where else would I go to cast sexy young stars than stick with the CW itself? I'd like to hire the entire cast of The Vampire Diaries. Ian as Derek. Paul as Chuck. Jeremy as Dylan. Candice as Serena.  And, of course, Nina as Blair.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Haha Chuck WOULD read someone elses memoir at Dan's book signing! Especially a memoir that is dealing with issues MUCH heavier than the petty shit Dan's writing about! I applaud Chuck for maturing with his more subtle "take that" remarks and actions :)

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I forgot to say that I totally called that Dair would have serious troubles to work on the show. I keep saying I have Chuck and Blair related and non related reasons to not like Dair. Well this is one of my non related Chuck and Blair reasons. I could have told you that Dan would end up emotionally hurt in all this. This is way I didn't want him in the middle of Chuck and Blair. Now I think it's even worst, he's not in the middle of Chuck and Blair, and yet Blair was able to hurt him. The many happenings of the episode didn't allow us to see how he dwelled on the fact that Blair pretty much rejected him so straing forwardly, but that's what happened. You can only imagine than that's got to hurt. Blair simply is not interested in him that way, even if she was tempted during season 4 she quickly snapped out of it. She should have read the whole book to make an informed judgment of whether she liked her portrayal or not, but she didn't, and maybe she would have tolerated the rest (if it's that favorable to her as Vanessa claimed and the show sorta seems to imply) hadn't it included a sex scene that had not real life base. The scene was apparently jeopardizing her royal engagement, but even though it had seemed to some at times that Blair has tried to come out with excuses to break off this engagement, apparently her desire to break it wasn't greated than her outrage for a fictional scene written for the alter egos of her and one of her closest friends at the moment. She could have used all this as an excuse to let Louis go and yet sh didn't. How many proofs are necessary to admit that Blar is not in that place with regards to Dan and that unfortunately he will como out hurt in that process?

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@ Uncle Jackass: I don't know, everybody in the forum keep saying Kirsten is not reliable, that she never gets the spoilers right, so I don't, people prefer to trust in Ausiello nowadays. To the first person that posted a comment: that was mean, you don't have to be so bitter about this, chill out it's just a TV show. And the point you and some others tried to make is quite off, in fact I find the commentators here have tried to not ship much this season, I've been reading recaps and the majority of the commentators on other sites are claiming for Chuck and Blair: Just like last week, the highlight of the night was Blair and Chuck’s scene in the park; as was suggested by a commenter last week, I so want Blair to have lied to him about the baby and for it to wind up being his. Are you listening, Gossip Girl writers? The people have spoken and we’re all about Blair and Chuck.� - Daemon’s TV “She finally tells Serena that she’s pregnant. Blair tells the prince he’s got to learn to trust her. Even though we’re secretly hoping she lied to him and Chuck and is the real baby daddy.�- Wall Street Journal “Of course, we finally get our second Chuck/Blair scene of the season while the two head to Dan’s book reveal. And they’re walking with Monkey too! It’s a short scene but an adorable one, especially when Monkey pulls the two together. Is Monkey secretly a Chair shipper?�- BuddyTV "8:40: Louis is convinced that Dan slept with Blair. He trusts her off all night with Chuck but gets scared shitless by a Dan Humphrey memoir? This man is an idiot." - The Faster Times On a different note, nobody has mentioned that Chuck and Louis had a scene. If this was the emotional scene that was mentioned in a spoiler last week, it was emotional, yes, but not what I was expecting, I was expecting some sort of confrontation or smackdown between them, but what we had was a emotional moment from Chuck's side, because from Louis side he was too pissed off to be emotional. Funny thing though, it was obvious Chuck felt his words have come to haunt him when Louis repeated what Chuck had said about Blair in the 4x21 episode. About the last part, the big reveal with Louis will be to see if he will be able to live up to his words that he wanted to know all sides of Blair, even the darker ones. I think he thought her dark side was more or less... normal, a bit strong but not much than the dakr side anyone could have, including him. I think he's starting to realize this might be bigger than he thought, and his big test will be to see if he can live with that, which he probably won't be ablet to, he will ended up rejecting her or turning himself to the dark side, this last one is a stronger possibility after the spoiler saying he's taking note from Blair's book to extract Chuck from her life. Nobody has mentioned that Chuck turned up the charm with Alexandra, Dan's agent (Lily's reaction to that was hilarious), but girl is so silly, seriously independently of who he was, who says to a person that just met all the things she said to Chuck? How insensitive was that? (The NY magazine reality index noticed it too) Also wasn't supposed to be a scene that would made us want to wear adult diapers? Many said it was in this episode, but I didn't see anything that big, maybe it was in another episode, in a future episode perhaps? I loved the scene of Dan and Chuck in the penthouse. It looked to me that at least in that moment, Dan was enjoying the dog more than Chuck. But I later found out that Chuck was preparing Monkey's food during his conversation with Nate? I need to rewatch this episode, those little details are amazing (Chuck was reading a book about a lady who founded a human rights organization in that scene where Serena approached him and started complaining about Dan's book, that was also a nice detail). I just read a fanfic where the made Chuck suggest Dan to buy a dog after a confrontation with Blair because he was going to need it. It just stroke me that this could actually make sense in the show, or Dan could share Monkey with Chuck, who knows.

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the book kiss scene is probably just dan's imagination of what he thinks should have happened to the real kiss that dan and blair had. i mean they used the same music, setting etc.
i think the writers prob put it in there as one last hurrah for dair before chair reunites.
i just hope im wrong and chair can just be a nice memory from the first 3 seasons. time to move on i say.

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the scene btw blair, chuck and monkey wasn't sweet at all. it felt kinda forced. just my opinion.
though i do like the evolving chuck. looks like he's is growing up, too bad blair grew up 2 seasons ago.

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and just on next week, really interested to see what diana uncovers on blair should be fun!
but i think the whole louis finding the envelope and the fact that we know louis is gonna make chucks life hell means he either found out the baby is chucks or he knows they had sex. either way SUPER EXCITED for next week!!!

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OMG! I'd swear on anyone, I was thinking bout their hair today too!!
Blair's hair looks terrible! And so does her make-up. what's with the excessive powder and red lips in all scenes?? The only time Leighton looked incredible in Season 5 is in the Jenny Packham show scenes.. (so glad she had scenes with Penn then) but my point is it's not L's real-life bangs that's the problem. It's whoever they've hired for the make-up and hair needs to wake up!!
As for Penn, i know he's doing the Jeff Buckley movie.. so i guess that's ok. I don't like him in short hair either.. for me, he looked soo handsome in the 4x17 scenes! It's weird those shots are the ones TVF has used in the recent posts!! :D

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GET LOUIS OFF THE BLOODY SHOWWWW!!! just looking at the looser reaks desperation he's so annoying. i understand that he comes from monaco so he's a foreign acter but come on!! he's terrible! and dan... REALLYYYY?! you've been inlove with blair for months now and thats how you portray the sex scene! I WANT BLOODY PASSION! if there gonna set up dair it has to be better than that if its gonna match chair! and i really didnt like the way he portrayed serena, like i saw it coming but she's so write he's the only one who knew her for who she wanted to be and he just killed it. and then he goes "oh sorry i need to go find blair." SHUTUP MUPPET HAIR AND HAVE A SERIOUS CONVERSION!!! so glad he's alone right now. and my poor chuck :( that was sad :( and to even portray his own father like that. arghh humphrey you've got a LOT of redeeming to do buddy

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Nevertheless, I personally think the only thing Dan and Blair share is bad hair. I mean SERIOUSLY! The whole freaking gg team must be turning over because their hair is ruining perfectly good scenes! Blair looks greasy overall and the only time Dans hair looked alright was during the Inside party.

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Don't worry Dair fans, even if TVF is a bit lopsided on the Chair side doesn't mean the gg writers have forgotten about you. Gossip Girl herself even made a "dair" pun when they kissed ;)

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Alessandra: They're coming tonight, right?
Dan: To the book party? No. I haven't exactly mentioned it to them yet. But I'd have to tell them the book exists first.
Alessandra: They don't know? Not any of them?
Dan: No. I'm not sure they're going to like it when they find out.
Alessandra: If they're really your friends they'll be happy to see your star rise. And they should be at the soirée tonight. When everybody learns that Anonymous is actually Daniel Humphrey.

Dan: Quick question: how big can my head get before it explodes?

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4 Music

  Song Artist
Quite-nice-people Quite Nice People Ida Maria iTunes
Ghost-in-your-bed Ghost In Your Bed My Gold Mask iTunes
Song Jacksons Morning Brush Carlin Music
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