Gossip Girl Round Table: "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan"

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Welcome to another Gossip Girl Round Table discussion! Below, our panel breaks down the most recent episode (see our official review from Monday night) of our favorite show in detail.

Below, TV Fanatic CEO Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy), editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines talk "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!

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What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: Blair letting loose on Dan that “there is no us!” Leighton Meester continues to carry each episode (with the help of Lonely Boy of course).

Christina: Dan to Sabrina, I mean Serena: “If you can’t tell the difference between what I did to Blair and what I did to you, then maybe your portrayal in the book is more accurate than you thought.” Well said, Lonely Boy. And once again, S is ridiculously oblivious and narcissistic as ever.  

Leigh: Dan to Chuck: "I'm guessing my dad's probably halfway through and Nate's probably on page 20." Because if that's not the most realistic thing ever said on this show... I don't know what is.

Steve: I'll mix it up and take a serious one - Blair telling Louis to start trusting her or let her go. Good for her. Yes, she's Blair Waldorf, a complicated girl on her best day and a shady one on her worst. But she means well, and she's been always honest with him ... well, except for that silly envelope.

Eric: Is this even a question? Pretty much everything when Chuck and Dan sat down to discuss the book. But the obvious winner? Chuck not having a problem with the suicide, just that it was a belt and not a scarf.

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What surprised you most about Dan's book?

Courtney: Besides that it was at the top of the Amazon book list? That he would go as low as ripping his father. Serena, Blair, Chuck... they have all deserved it at some point, but his dad? Cold.

Christina: “Derek.” I loved the look on Nate’s face when Chuck informed him his character was meshed with Eric’s.

Leigh: I was actually really surprised that he killed Chuck and the manner in which it happened. Erotic asphyxiation? What show is this? Nip/Tuck? (BTW re-watch if you don't realize that's what happened).

Steve: First I want to comment on what a great storyline this was overall. It really explored the characters in a way we haven't seen in some time. As for what surprised me most, probably that Dan had sex with Blair ... in his dreams. Come on Dan, we know you want to and all, but I thought the book was semi-autobiographical. Blending Nate and Eric came out of nowhere, too.

Eric: The the publicist told Dan to leave the beard, but didn't even comment on the muppet hair. No one doing promotion for anything would ever let him out of the house looking like that.  Wait, how do they let Penn film Gossip Girl with that mop?

Who did Dan sell out hardest?

Courtney: Like I said before, Rufus... all the way. Who cares if Rufus really is a washed up rocker who married for money? He is his father. Besides Dan has no problem being a part of a world with money. And anyways, Rufus and Lily were together years earlier when he was still rocking with Lincoln Hawk. Definitely wouldn't say he married for money.

Christina: Nate. I, too, thought they were “best friends” and Nate was important enough to get his own character. Hats off to Nate, though, for throwing the biggest hissy fit of all of the characters. It was kind of cute and probably foreshadowing of Nate’s de-friending of Dan.

Leigh: Selling out your own father who was your only friend next to Cedric the Cabbage Patch kid is really deep. Dan's smarter than to think Rufus only married Lily for money and that he's in any way a sellout.

Steve: Blair. He allegedly never intended this to be published, but to write that he had sex with his friend, who is now engaged to someone else? Even if we assume he took creative license, that's still pushing it. And if by some chance it did happen (last night didn't make it seem like it), then he really sold her out.

Eric: RUFUS! I mean, he didn't say anything worse than our Round Table has been saying about the washed up has been. But from your own son? That burns harder than Gossip Guy. Whatever happened to the dude?

Big Night For Dan

Most difficult to believe: Dan being #4 on Amazon, no one besides Chuck bothering to read the book, or Serena's reputation being hurt at work over a fictional character?

Courtney: I agree with Christina. There is no way that Daniel Day-Lewis, an Oscar winner, would even know about the newest UES scandal book. Or even more that an assistant at the company was a character in it and that was what turned him off.

Christina: Definitely Serena's “reputation” or the lack thereof ... As if Daniel Day-Lewis would give a crap about the UES.

Leigh: Is there any doubt it was the Daniel Day Lewis situation? I mean c'mon writers, at least pick an actor who might actually give a crap. And by actor, I mean a real housewife.

Steve: For argument's sake, the fact that none of the crew besides Chuck was even a little curious. Okay, Nate's just a slow reader, but Blair and Serena openly eschewed the book. Given their respective roles in Dan's life, wouldn't you think they'd be clamoring to read how he portrayed them?

Eric: Yeah I agree with everyone on Serena's rep and Daniel Day Lewis. Beyond silly. Besides, I personally would buy enough copies of Inside to make it to #4.

Everyone hates him now, but who will be the first to become friends with Dan again?

Courtney: Well it definitely isn’t going to be Nate!! Chuck isn’t mad at him so at least he has one person who is sort of his friend. Blair will be the first to return to his side. These two have become really good friends who need each other. Blair is not about to embark on her pregnancy journey without Lonely Boy and his Netflix.

Christina: Blair, always the damsel in distress, will be the first to forgive and forget. She seemingly always gets over things fairly quickly. As of late, Dan has been her shoulder to lean on and lap to cry on, so she needs to get over this novel fiasco fast and be there for Dan as he has been there for her in recent crummy times.

Leigh: Blair will need him. Otherwise I'd say Nate because Dan could buy him a bag of weed and an ice cream cone and everything would be gravy.

Steve: Nate. Considering how Serena and Rufus were eviscerated and Chuck died alone, he'll come to realize that being an irrelevant gay player wasn't so bad.

Eric: Duh, Serena. Not out of true friendship, but the girl has some movie rights to secure. Who wouldn't fall for those legs?

Blair With Chuck

Are Chuck and Blair destined to be together?

Courtney: These two used to be perfect for each other because they were scandalous and always up to something. They were a “get what we want when we want it” type couple. But since their time apart, they both have grown up and matured... for the most part. I think they are even better for each other now than before. So in one word... yes!

Christina: Haven’t you heard, “love’s an excuse to get hurt”? Speaking on behalf of all Chair fans, my response is: of course Chuck and Blair are destined to be together!

Leigh: This is a loaded question considering how passionate some of our readers are. However I've never wavered from my stance on Team Chair.

Steve: The show certainly took that direction last night, didn't it? I think Dan and Blair have made the show for much of the past year, but it's looking like a romance just isn't in the cards (except in Inside). Unless the writers listened to Penn Badgley and craft the mother of all surprises coming up. Wouldn't that be something? Here's hoping, Dair fans. Here's hoping.

Eric: Still? Chuck has Monkey and Blair has an equally stupid, loyal creature. Can't we move on to discuss what's going to happen to the prettiest couple on the show? Diana and Nate? My prediction. Nate realizes Derek wasn't so much of a mashup of his character so much as his future.

Who should star in Inside: The Movie?

Courtney: Well knowing Serena’s luck, she would end up playing herself. Blair probably wouldn’t allow anyone else to play her. And there is no one who could do justice for the infamous Chuck Bass. But if I had to pick a real actor/actress... I would definitely go Selena Gomez for Blair. I just saw a commercial for a movie they were in together and they looked super cute as BFFs.

Christina: Well, since everyone responded immediately and then dropped what they were doing to meet up ... during the day ... just for a mysterious text ... requesting their presence by none other than ... Dan, I’m betting everyone’s calendars aren’t too set in stone. Couldn’t they do a reality ... movie?!

Leigh: It's really hard to picture anyone else playing these roles but for the sake of the game, I'll give it a whirl. Keeping it in the CW family: Sabrina - Naomi from 90210. Claire - Elena from Vampire Diaries. Derek - Liam from 90210. Charlie - Damon from Vampire Diaries. Dylan Hunter - this is a toughie so I'm going to say Scott Porter purely because he's underused on Hart of Dixie and I love him on FNL.

Steve: Adam Brody as Dylan/Dan. Joseph Morgan as Charlie/Chuck. Zac Efron as Derek. Lindsay Lohan as Serena/Sabrina. Pippa Middleton as Blair. Kaylee DeFer as whatever poorly acted, ancillary character(s) they need filled at the last minute.

Eric: Where else would I go to cast sexy young stars than stick with the CW itself? I'd like to hire the entire cast of The Vampire Diaries. Ian as Derek. Paul as Chuck. Jeremy as Dylan. Candice as Serena.  And, of course, Nina as Blair.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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@strawberry fields- It's like you're in my head. Awesome.

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1) So many good interactions and quotes in this episode - both serious and light hearted. I think the initial Dan/Chuck scene produced the best quotes: Chuck offering up scotch and valium at 2pm, Dan naturally assuming Nate is a slow reader, also "didn't your dad get temporarily famous singing about Lily?" and "though clearly fiction, I'd never use a belt, I'd use a shahtoosh scarf. Much softer." were particularly LOL worthy. Loved Dan's face when Chuck pointed out that "All success comes at a price. The artist must stand alone to observe the crowd." Great scene, great quotes. 2) Chuck's death, as I mentioned in my last post... 3) I think Rufus was sold out the most and the confrontation between him and Dan at the end was gold. I felt bad for Nate and also Serena- until, of course, Serena acted in the same selfish manner Dan had portrayed her in. 4) Why would Daniel Day Lewis care about a fictional representation of an...assistant?? No actor would care, especially the notoriously reclusive DDL! Oh GG ridiculousness, how I love thee. 5) I Serena, obviously, will (pretend) reconcile with Dan because of the movie. I think Blair will be the first motivated by pure friendship though... I hope in the meantime we get more of Chuck and Dan. It actually makes sense that they can be friends now they've matured past their Brooklyn-ite/UES hatred respectively. Plus many writers have unlikely, eccentric friends from whom they draw inspiration (Harper Lee and Truman Capote come to mind). Plus C/D is the only unexplored pair at this point in the show. Duck is to season 5 as Dair was to season 4- a surprisingly enjoyable friendship. 6) Are "Chair" destined for one another? I don't know. I love the pairing, I love the actors' chemistry and I would love if they got together in the end IF it were written correctly. Either way, I still am entertained by their interactions and I like that the show seems to be exploring a different side of the relationship in a way that isn't completely dominative. Chuck especially needs growth as a character separate from Blair. I think the C/B relationship will always be in the series in some way. 7) I can't imagine anyone else playing these characters. The cast is perfect. Loved, loved, loved this episode. Goes to show it doesn't need to be all about the f*$#ing romantic "ships" to be interesting!

Strawberry fields

Favourite quote - "If you can’t tell the difference between what I did to Blair and what I did to you, then maybe your portrayal in the book is more accurate than you thought". I love Dan! I wanted someone to dump a huge bomb on Serena's ego after her "everybody loves a villain" line to Blair. Why would she assume that Blair had to be the villain? Ok, Blair assumed that too, but Serena's certainty that she was still Dan's holy muse makes her an egocentric bitch. What surprised me about Dan's book… Not the Dair imaginary sex. Not the fact that he made Serena look like a selfish pretty girl that she really is (even if she desperately tries to pretend that she isn't). Chuck's death was the shocker of the day, but even more shocking was his reaction. I was truly impressed by Chuck. The only person who understands the meaning of the word "fiction" apparently. His conversation with Lily at the end was very emotional. We got to see how lonely he really feels. I was also impressed by Rufus. He played the proud dad act for Dan's party and waited until the next day before telling Dan what he really thinks. Awesome stuff, Mr Humphrey! What I was not impressed by was Louis. What an epic idiot. Here's a hint - if you are a prince, you don't get to act like a jealous boyfriend. Have some dignity, for the love of God. The book in general sounds great. The fact that Dan made his character not very positive (in his own words Dylan is "a judgmental dick") is impressive too. Who did he sell out hardest? I'd say Rufus. For three reasons. One: you shouldn't write shit about your dad. Two: marrying Lily for money is easy to believe (for someone who doesn't know Rufus) and it is actually unjust. Three: everyone (other than stupid Serena who always expects to be on the pedestal) knew that what Dan wrote about them could be harsh, only Rufus had no reason to think that. Most difficult to believe - the book being such success overnight and the fact that only Chuck read the book are both very hard to believe, but the gold goes to Serena's reputation. Without the question that just set a whole new record on the stupidity scale. Daniel Day-Lewis? Really? How far can the writers go? Who will be the first to become friends with Dan again? I hope it will be Blair. She had a right to freak out, since her prince proved to be a stupid ass, but hopefully she'll soon come to realize that she overreacted. After all the sex thing doesn't really put her in such a bad light, right? I'm Team Chair since season one, so my answer to the next question - yes! Cast for the movie - I agree with Steve's every guy choice. Adam Brody would be great Dylan, Joseph Morgan has a perfect combination of a royalty vibe and a bad boy vibe that is needed for Charlie and Zac Efron definitely has a face to play slightly dumb gay Derek. Girls are the problem. I don't think Lindsay and Pippa are pretty enough. Not to mention Pippa isn't bitchy enough and Lindsay is way too bitchy. I think Eric is right here. Nina and Candice could have a shot.

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I think the most surprising and hilarious thing in Dan's book was Chuck's death. I never, ever thought I'd hear an allusion to auto-erotic asphyxiation on the CW!! I can't believe those references got passed the censors. And it totally reminded me of Nip/Tuck (my absolute favorite show ever- just slightly edging out GG). Christian from N/T and Chuck are very similar and a lonely, accidental death while seeking pleasure would be a natural end for both characters. Dan and I sure think alike. Of course, the hilarity of auto-erotic asphyxiation being mentioned on the CW morphed into sadness when Chuck had some self-realization that his life will end tragically if he doesn't change. I hope they continue down this road with the character- it's interesting, refreshing and they seemed to have found a balance between the snarky, morally ambiguous Chuck and the emo-ish Chuck that realizes the tragedy of his current situation that's equal parts due to a bad upbringing and bad decisions. There's more depth to the character. I think Ed probably likes being given a bit more meaty and it shows. Oops, I veered a little off-topic w/r/t the round table discussion. Must have been the Nip/Tuck mention in the discussion. hah.

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1."I'm guessing my dad's probably halfway through and Nate's probably on page 20." Best thing EVER!
2. that he portrayed all his family and friends that harshley.
3. rufus and nate. how could he do that to poor beautiful nate? i though they were BFFS. but thats ok nate has serena to comfort him.
4. serenas rep. i mean seriously i know she popular and all but not THAT poplular
5. serena for her movie thing of course she would otherwise never forgive him or well it'd be awhile. but really i think blair would be his friend first cuz she like wathing movie with him. or nate might just forget and become his friend again anyway.
6. yes but i still think louis and blair are cute
7. adam brody as dan/dylan, rachel bilson as blair/claire, ian somerhalder as chuck/charlie, matt lanter as nate/derrick, mischa barton in her marissa cooper stage as serena/sabrina.

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Chair still hoping they will be end game!

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Rufus: "the last time [Dan] was this secretive he showed up with a baby"
scene immediately cuts to Chuck and Blair looking frazzled.... there's still hope!

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BLAIR & DAN ARE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER :) THEY ARE SOUL MATES: DAIR!

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OMG. Gossip Girl has dissapointed me and I am so sad for this.
First Louis MUST go,leave,die I don't care. He's soo gay that I want to kick his butt. Dan have to GET OVER blair sometime cause we're all very tired with this story,but I must admit I'm starting to like him!
As for Ivy and Diana I like that 'story'.At least it has a plot.
Last but not least,I think we ALL know that the kid is CHUCK'S,so I hope they end up together.They are the best coupleeee !
Ohh,Nate with Diana look good too ;)
And Serena looks always cute!

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for fuck's sake IT'S JUST A BOOK.
no one should get mad, they are not their selves on the book, they are fictional characters, dan just took something from real life and something from his thoughts? i rly dont get whats so big of a deal

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Alessandra: They're coming tonight, right?
Dan: To the book party? No. I haven't exactly mentioned it to them yet. But I'd have to tell them the book exists first.
Alessandra: They don't know? Not any of them?
Dan: No. I'm not sure they're going to like it when they find out.
Alessandra: If they're really your friends they'll be happy to see your star rise. And they should be at the soirée tonight. When everybody learns that Anonymous is actually Daniel Humphrey.

Dan: Quick question: how big can my head get before it explodes?

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4 Music

  Song Artist
Quite nice people Quite Nice People Ida Maria iTunes
Ghost in your bed Ghost In Your Bed My Gold Mask iTunes
Song Jacksons Morning Brush Carlin Music
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