Gossip Girl Round Table: "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan"

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Welcome to another Gossip Girl Round Table discussion! Below, our panel breaks down the most recent episode (see our official review from Monday night) of our favorite show in detail.

Below, TV Fanatic CEO Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy), editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines talk "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!

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What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: Blair letting loose on Dan that “there is no us!” Leighton Meester continues to carry each episode (with the help of Lonely Boy of course).

Christina: Dan to Sabrina, I mean Serena: “If you can’t tell the difference between what I did to Blair and what I did to you, then maybe your portrayal in the book is more accurate than you thought.” Well said, Lonely Boy. And once again, S is ridiculously oblivious and narcissistic as ever.  

Leigh: Dan to Chuck: "I'm guessing my dad's probably halfway through and Nate's probably on page 20." Because if that's not the most realistic thing ever said on this show... I don't know what is.

Steve: I'll mix it up and take a serious one - Blair telling Louis to start trusting her or let her go. Good for her. Yes, she's Blair Waldorf, a complicated girl on her best day and a shady one on her worst. But she means well, and she's been always honest with him ... well, except for that silly envelope.

Eric: Is this even a question? Pretty much everything when Chuck and Dan sat down to discuss the book. But the obvious winner? Chuck not having a problem with the suicide, just that it was a belt and not a scarf.

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What surprised you most about Dan's book?

Courtney: Besides that it was at the top of the Amazon book list? That he would go as low as ripping his father. Serena, Blair, Chuck... they have all deserved it at some point, but his dad? Cold.

Christina: “Derek.” I loved the look on Nate’s face when Chuck informed him his character was meshed with Eric’s.

Leigh: I was actually really surprised that he killed Chuck and the manner in which it happened. Erotic asphyxiation? What show is this? Nip/Tuck? (BTW re-watch if you don't realize that's what happened).

Steve: First I want to comment on what a great storyline this was overall. It really explored the characters in a way we haven't seen in some time. As for what surprised me most, probably that Dan had sex with Blair ... in his dreams. Come on Dan, we know you want to and all, but I thought the book was semi-autobiographical. Blending Nate and Eric came out of nowhere, too.

Eric: The the publicist told Dan to leave the beard, but didn't even comment on the muppet hair. No one doing promotion for anything would ever let him out of the house looking like that.  Wait, how do they let Penn film Gossip Girl with that mop?

Who did Dan sell out hardest?

Courtney: Like I said before, Rufus... all the way. Who cares if Rufus really is a washed up rocker who married for money? He is his father. Besides Dan has no problem being a part of a world with money. And anyways, Rufus and Lily were together years earlier when he was still rocking with Lincoln Hawk. Definitely wouldn't say he married for money.

Christina: Nate. I, too, thought they were “best friends” and Nate was important enough to get his own character. Hats off to Nate, though, for throwing the biggest hissy fit of all of the characters. It was kind of cute and probably foreshadowing of Nate’s de-friending of Dan.

Leigh: Selling out your own father who was your only friend next to Cedric the Cabbage Patch kid is really deep. Dan's smarter than to think Rufus only married Lily for money and that he's in any way a sellout.

Steve: Blair. He allegedly never intended this to be published, but to write that he had sex with his friend, who is now engaged to someone else? Even if we assume he took creative license, that's still pushing it. And if by some chance it did happen (last night didn't make it seem like it), then he really sold her out.

Eric: RUFUS! I mean, he didn't say anything worse than our Round Table has been saying about the washed up has been. But from your own son? That burns harder than Gossip Guy. Whatever happened to the dude?

Big Night For Dan

Most difficult to believe: Dan being #4 on Amazon, no one besides Chuck bothering to read the book, or Serena's reputation being hurt at work over a fictional character?

Courtney: I agree with Christina. There is no way that Daniel Day-Lewis, an Oscar winner, would even know about the newest UES scandal book. Or even more that an assistant at the company was a character in it and that was what turned him off.

Christina: Definitely Serena's “reputation” or the lack thereof ... As if Daniel Day-Lewis would give a crap about the UES.

Leigh: Is there any doubt it was the Daniel Day Lewis situation? I mean c'mon writers, at least pick an actor who might actually give a crap. And by actor, I mean a real housewife.

Steve: For argument's sake, the fact that none of the crew besides Chuck was even a little curious. Okay, Nate's just a slow reader, but Blair and Serena openly eschewed the book. Given their respective roles in Dan's life, wouldn't you think they'd be clamoring to read how he portrayed them?

Eric: Yeah I agree with everyone on Serena's rep and Daniel Day Lewis. Beyond silly. Besides, I personally would buy enough copies of Inside to make it to #4.

Everyone hates him now, but who will be the first to become friends with Dan again?

Courtney: Well it definitely isn’t going to be Nate!! Chuck isn’t mad at him so at least he has one person who is sort of his friend. Blair will be the first to return to his side. These two have become really good friends who need each other. Blair is not about to embark on her pregnancy journey without Lonely Boy and his Netflix.

Christina: Blair, always the damsel in distress, will be the first to forgive and forget. She seemingly always gets over things fairly quickly. As of late, Dan has been her shoulder to lean on and lap to cry on, so she needs to get over this novel fiasco fast and be there for Dan as he has been there for her in recent crummy times.

Leigh: Blair will need him. Otherwise I'd say Nate because Dan could buy him a bag of weed and an ice cream cone and everything would be gravy.

Steve: Nate. Considering how Serena and Rufus were eviscerated and Chuck died alone, he'll come to realize that being an irrelevant gay player wasn't so bad.

Eric: Duh, Serena. Not out of true friendship, but the girl has some movie rights to secure. Who wouldn't fall for those legs?

Blair With Chuck

Are Chuck and Blair destined to be together?

Courtney: These two used to be perfect for each other because they were scandalous and always up to something. They were a “get what we want when we want it” type couple. But since their time apart, they both have grown up and matured... for the most part. I think they are even better for each other now than before. So in one word... yes!

Christina: Haven’t you heard, “love’s an excuse to get hurt”? Speaking on behalf of all Chair fans, my response is: of course Chuck and Blair are destined to be together!

Leigh: This is a loaded question considering how passionate some of our readers are. However I've never wavered from my stance on Team Chair.

Steve: The show certainly took that direction last night, didn't it? I think Dan and Blair have made the show for much of the past year, but it's looking like a romance just isn't in the cards (except in Inside). Unless the writers listened to Penn Badgley and craft the mother of all surprises coming up. Wouldn't that be something? Here's hoping, Dair fans. Here's hoping.

Eric: Still? Chuck has Monkey and Blair has an equally stupid, loyal creature. Can't we move on to discuss what's going to happen to the prettiest couple on the show? Diana and Nate? My prediction. Nate realizes Derek wasn't so much of a mashup of his character so much as his future.

Who should star in Inside: The Movie?

Courtney: Well knowing Serena’s luck, she would end up playing herself. Blair probably wouldn’t allow anyone else to play her. And there is no one who could do justice for the infamous Chuck Bass. But if I had to pick a real actor/actress... I would definitely go Selena Gomez for Blair. I just saw a commercial for a movie they were in together and they looked super cute as BFFs.

Christina: Well, since everyone responded immediately and then dropped what they were doing to meet up ... during the day ... just for a mysterious text ... requesting their presence by none other than ... Dan, I’m betting everyone’s calendars aren’t too set in stone. Couldn’t they do a reality ... movie?!

Leigh: It's really hard to picture anyone else playing these roles but for the sake of the game, I'll give it a whirl. Keeping it in the CW family: Sabrina - Naomi from 90210. Claire - Elena from Vampire Diaries. Derek - Liam from 90210. Charlie - Damon from Vampire Diaries. Dylan Hunter - this is a toughie so I'm going to say Scott Porter purely because he's underused on Hart of Dixie and I love him on FNL.

Steve: Adam Brody as Dylan/Dan. Joseph Morgan as Charlie/Chuck. Zac Efron as Derek. Lindsay Lohan as Serena/Sabrina. Pippa Middleton as Blair. Kaylee DeFer as whatever poorly acted, ancillary character(s) they need filled at the last minute.

Eric: Where else would I go to cast sexy young stars than stick with the CW itself? I'd like to hire the entire cast of The Vampire Diaries. Ian as Derek. Paul as Chuck. Jeremy as Dylan. Candice as Serena.  And, of course, Nina as Blair.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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First question/request: Can we please get the GG reality index back?
Pretty please! It's so much fun to see how ridiculous the show really is. And as to the episode in general: Well done GG for stepping up your game. This is exactly the kind of drama UESiders get themselves into. Lies, betrayals, deceits all wrapped in a book produced by the only one still struggling to fit in. It's almost like Dan is stepping into Jenny's shoes without even planning on it. See, they really are siblings even though it seems as if no one in the Humphrey (and certainly not the Van der Woodsen) family cares. Anyways, I think Dan knew this was all going to happen. BUT the most unrealistic thing was his surprise that Rufus would not like his portrayal in the book. It's understandable to diss your friends, especially if they're as ruthlessly narcissistic and drama-ridden as the UES bunch, but your dad? Not cool. He should've seen that coming miles away. I think that means Lily also doesn't care for him anymore. Poor Dan... even Chuck has more support than him now. And Charlie Trout died in the end...

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@ ALF: when I saw that scene I did find it creepy, but not because I found Chuck creepy or anything of the sorts, what I found creepy was the idea that Chuck and Vanessa could have the same opinion about something, even after everything that has happened in this show, I mean if this would have happened in season 2 I would have understood it more when I heard that line because in those days it did seem Chuck and Vanessa had some common points. I thought Dan was also creeped out by seen that Chuck had the same opinion than Vanessa. After reading your comment I realized the possibility that you mention didn't occurred to me, maybe the writer's intention was the one you say, that Dan was amazed to see that he might share an intellectual connection with Chuck just as he used to share it with Vanessa. I guess if the writers would get to explain the scene to us we would know for sure what they meant with it, though I still don't trust too much on the stuff they say so maybe it's actually better not knowing, who knows. I do think the riff between Dan and Blair will end eventually, though I don't think it will dissapear quickly like in the next episode, I think it might last up to 3 episodes. I haven't seen any signs indicating it could be sooner than that. I pointed out in another article that for me the whole Prince, Pauper, Dark Knight thing was sorta still going on despite the writers claims in the summer that she had chosen, it still seems pretty alive to me though I'm not sure of Dan's chances at this moment, I'm one the fans that thinks the last episode seemed pretty definitive on Blair's part. Yet again the show is not that trust worthy that allows to be certain of anything, I think only when Dan says something about where he stands in this, we will know for sure.

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@pty - I don't think Dan meant that Vanessa and Chuck had literally made the same observation about "the artist standing alone". Dan looked taken aback that he could maybe click intellectually with someone like Chuck (just like with Blair last season..). I interpreted it as Dan being surprised that Chuck could potentially fulfill a role as a friend(-ish thing) like Vanessa once did. Also perhaps Dan was witnessing another side to Chuck. Or Maybe I over thought all of that? lol I've no idea why some Dair fans think this episode killed potential for the ship romantically. On the contrary, I think they've indicated quite clearly that Dan, Chuck and even Louis will continue to be in Blair's life and that the rift with Dan will be temporary. It seems everything is open game at this point- not just romantically for Blair but for exploring different friendships or facets of existing relationships (whether they be romantic, familial, platonic...). I don't know where GG is going and it's pretty exciting as a viewer. I hope the next episode capitalizes on the moment built from 5.04.

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@ Uncle Jackass: Thank you for agreeing with me about that scene. The dog scene reminded some of 101 Dalmatians the Disney animated movie. About Vanessa, I think contrary to what many believed the famous other thing that we would discovered she did with the book was actually the Vanity Fair article, but I might be mistaken (don't you find creepy that Chuck and Vanessa told the same line to Dan? I think Dan felt it so). About Nate, I think he felt hurt because he wants to matter, like Serena, but he doesn't know how. Maybe he felt he didn't mattered to Dan as much as he thought, and he's wrong of course.

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@UncleJackass
I agree with all your points! I aldo think Dan was being nice in leaving Nate out of the novel because he has no complaints about him. If Nate had bothered reading the book he might actually have realised that it might be a blessing hahah.
I enjoyed the kiss but I'm thinking that part of its overthetopness had to do with the fact that it wasn't real but more imagination. If ever Dan and Blair kiss for real, then I think it will go differently. That is if Dair happens at all which after this episode, seems to be unlikely unfortunately.
Yet I will keep dairing to the end. We already have had great scenes with those two I suppose we can be a little happy.

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I do wonder about Lily's portrayal in the book and in particular if she was referred to as Mrs. Von Skoneker Trout Hunter..

Uncle-jackass

Warning: Disclaimer: These comments were derived from a fiction show based on fiction characters In the words of Dan Humphrey: "I just want everyone to know that this book is work of fiction....Read it first and then decide.." I.e. don't cheery pick what you want to see, that's called editorializing!! Title: "Dan in Un-Real life" Was Dan staying true to his character or was he a major D#$K? Is he always being judgmental? Are the other characters being judgmental and selfish too (thus anointing themselves hypocrites)? Was the book's impact necessary for character development? Should we care? Ans: All of the above. Nuff said. Continuing my diatribes from the review, I am now ready to defend the ground of Dan Humphrey after being a bit disillusioned and having a coffee break (+reading @Savannah and the main blog website opinions). Alt Ergo #1: Sabrina Von Skoneker: The Dreamy Long Leg Blonde Perhaps the most riveting and ever true statements of the book's impact were targeted towards Serena. It has been established that a half of season 4 was devoted to Serena disappointing Dan yet again with her discretion's with both Prof. Collin (not sexual but two-timing) and Teacher Ben; Nate was fatefully there as well. Was she irresponsible and shallow? I think she certainly didn't mean to be perceived that way, but the 'fates' (writers) made sure that from his (Pip) perspective that she behaved like Estella from the 'Great Expectations,' by Charles Dickens. As much as Serena honestly believed that Dan idolized her and believed that she had grown as a person, her past deeds were there as a constant reminder of her 'redemption' required. With Serena not choosing between Nate and Dan for a whole season, it was understandably a bitter relationship; even unrepairable (agreed with @Kookakicha). In analyzing Dan's Quotes: "I hate to break it to you, but those things happened... He puts off his writing, he misses job interviews , why? .... because he cares more about sexy blonde more than he cares about his own future," We can deduce the correct choice from Darwinian Theory 101 about natural selection and survival of the fittest. Even Blair said it bluntly. Only nice guys finish last or not at all in some cases. Therefore, take care of yourself first and then worry about others latter. You matter! And second quote #2: "I need to find Blair. If you can’t tell the difference between what I did to Blair and what I did to you, then maybe your portrayal in the book is more accurate than you thought.� Yes, it was definitely judgmental, but the world truly does not revolve around Serena. It actually rotates on a inclined axis around an elliptical orbit around the Sun in fact. Alt Ergo #2: Charlie Trout If there was any evidence to suggest in serendipity or fate or forces that bond Chuck with Blair together it has to be: the writers, the producers, an army of Chair fans, blog websites, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and any opposition would have to be mad to contend with them (ever watched the 'Adjustment bureau' movie?). "It's like a conspiracy theory, I tell ya..." As for the return of Charlie Trout, he's demise was character developing for Chuck, but not a pivotal or character defining revelation I think. Why? This was already stated in Gossip Girl Season 2 finale whereby GG's graduation blast was labelled 'him the coward,' incapable of asking for what he needed not what he wanted from family. It is natural to assume that he is always alone. I also agree with @Pty with the scene with Alessandra giving the exposition of how sad his character dies (what is she, the most heartless woman?). The only exception is Blair Waldorf, where fate (or the writers) love placing them together in a picture perfect moment (the scene with Blair/Chuck/Monkey) reminded me of a 'You Got Mail' ending. His 'Chilly' scenes was a nice admission of motherhood from Lilly as Chuck's surrogate mother from season 2. As for the redemption of Chuck Bass. Well, I'm shocked because his making good progress. He might even be Dan's only friend after this week. The Duck scene was epic in chemistry where Dan is in need of a honest friend and not an attention seeker (Agreed with @Steve, as Chuck didn't even blame him for the way he was portrayed or left to die alone). He even once again helped Louis with his trust issues with Blair saying: "Don't give up on the fact because of someone's elses fiction...." Alt Ergo #3: Derek Von Skoneker: I'm not sure (and many others think so too) that Nate was justified to be angry with Dan for not being integral in the book. If we were to believe that this book contained the inner thoughts of Dan's desires and problems with his family/friends, then it could be interpreted that he considered Nate a true friend and that he had no qualms or complaints about him. No other characters can say that verse versa. If Dan apologized with along those lines then he should be forgiven. As for the fact if Nate is useless?; I refer to a following quote from TV fanatic with naming names: "Mocking how useless she (Vanessa) is has become too easy, and certainly loses some of its appeal now that Jessica Szohr kind of got fired. The only question is whether we rename this the Rufus or Nate Uselessness Scale for Season 5." Alt Ergo #4: Rufus Hunter- The Lily Stalker No one is disputing that the greatest person that Dan sold out had to be his dad, Rufus. After all it is true that Rufus has sacrificed his: future musical career, pursuit of Lilly from season 1 to 2, was the conscience and a personal friend of Dan, and in many respects the role model to which Dan was told to do the right thing. But conversely he has been marked by fans and commentators as a: man-bag, trophy husband, proposed for a Rufus Useless Scale, and accessory. The only redeemable quality of the impact of Dan's book is that it might push Rufus to try again at his dreams of singing. In hindsight ,if he did, he might even forgive Dan for giving him that little nudge. Alt Ergo: #5: Clair Carlyle The charactirature of the Clair vs. the Blair seems oddly defined as two different individuals. Whereas Blair's mind seems clearly repulsed by the idea of a Dair ship the Clair character is enjoying the prospect of a hidden tryst between her and Dylan. The secret affair amongst them was perhaps Dan's way of saying that they had a hidden connection beyond all of the other NJSCD dynamic. As for the whole 'steamy' make-out scence between Dylan and Clair, it had to be said it wasn't as romantic or epic as I wanted it. With a whole soap opera cloud covering the scene, melodramatic acting, some tongue action by Clair, and a possible fake Gossip Girl voice-over about Dair to Dare, I think it was safe to say it was not taking place in a the Gossip Girl universe. In fact with the whole surreal direction of the scene, the ambiguity was left on Blair's face deciding whether it was a steamy Danielle Steele novel or a fizzle of a kiss after reading it. Alt Ergo #6: I AM Dylan Hunter- aka the D%^k Head In thinking of a reason why Dan finally decided to published the book it was actually a combination of factors. The cumulative reasons were: Noah Shapiro had forced his hand, Dan had the support/blessing from Chuck (shockers), he is trying to become a writer and not a homeless arts student, and he must of forgiven or listened to what Vanessa said. But at the end of the day (as stated by @heddy), it was his decision. A decision that a supportive Blair Wardorf even questioned him from the season 4 episode 11 "The Townie," about not comprising for any girl for the sake of his writing. It did seem odd that Blair is allowed to follow her diluted fairy tale ending while Dan is not allowed to make a living for himself, but was ultimately his own choice. Has he ruined his chances with Blair and not Clair? Probably so, as he had ample opportunity to disclose the contents of the book prior to his publication reveal party. Leaving it to the last possible moment, with Louis raging with accusations, left him a precariously dangerous position with Blair's engagement in the background. Dair fans (me included) are now left in tatters. Dare to Dair at your own madness. It seems that the only chances of them being together appears to be the mating of their respective hairs (Bangs with Muppet). Other Ergos: The Dark Prince of Creeping: Is this the beginning of the fall for Louis? Is his skill of creeping on people a sign of things to come? Well apparently he has demonstrated that he can be just as judgmental as Dan can be about people's character flaws. He was fully aware that prior and during the Blouis relationship & break, that both Dan and Chuck were in her life. Yet he believes that most human beings are brutally honest to others? But who doesn't have secrets? Surely it is human nature to keep secrets otherwise what is the point of having personal thoughts? But it is easy to feel sympathy for the Blair as she is dealing with a lot of personal baby issues. Louis can be naive at the best of times and deserves a far simpler girl for himself given the grief on his face with Blair at the end of the episode. He should also understand where Blair's heart truly lies and its not with him. Trolessa Von Creeper: @Dr.CerrenoMD, On whether Vanessa's original intention was to help or ultimately hinder Dan's chances with Blair or Serena by publising the book is questionable and an intruguing question. Clearly, she was hurt by Dan's refusal to publish, but she didn't make any alterations as early spoilers suggested. Instead, it was more of Trolessa's mantra about 'moving forward.' Maybe the intent was to make him an outsider with accomplishments, but I get the feeling some of it was bitterly to "save his soul,' in her own words. Mrs Lily Von Hunter: Over time, even Jenny started to see that Lily was unhealthly for Rufus at times which caused some resentment during season 3(changed atitudes from season 1+2 where she was the most supportive). It was perhaps not too surprising to think that Dan had some resentment too. But this wasn't explained very much in this episode so we have little to discuss.

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Gosh usually I don't have a favorite quote, but this time I DO.
actually it's 2 whole scenes 1. Dan's gathering: Chuck: this is going to be Fun! (grins) Hillarious!! Dan: I might made your character a little... Chuck: GAY! (grins) Nate: Do I have game? Chuck: Most definetly (grins) LMFAO i can watch this over and over and still laugh til tears start running.. 2.scene S & her college Sam. Sam: SHUT UP! No way, you're Sabrina the dreamy blonde with the legs. I guess I'am (sounding so proud)
Sam: Oh,Dylan Hunter said everythings comes easy to you. S: Keep reading I told you.. Sam: I'm almost through. S: (GTFO) this was the funniest episode since a long time LOL great humor there are actually a few more funny scenes but these make me laugh the hardest. I love THIS Show! and Gimme more DAIR!

Strawberry-fields

@ALF - thanks! :) I feel like you're in my head as well. Everything you wrote about Dan and Chuck - I agree 100%. I love their scenes together. You can really feel weird friendship vibe between these two.

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Sarena being angry after reading her part in the book! S its hard to believe but yes everything written about u is true! But still i felt tht S was only serious about Dan the others wre jus whtevr for her. I hated the way he treated her in season 1 when they brokeup. Chair --> Maybe or maybe not! Who knows after evrything wht chucks going through i dnt know he'll end up being mature or womanizer again! Coz as B says Chuck is chuck!
Only if he deserves her chair should happen! Even if its a book Dan hurt Rufus i always loved him for loving Dan and Jenny so much.

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Alessandra: They're coming tonight, right?
Dan: To the book party? No. I haven't exactly mentioned it to them yet. But I'd have to tell them the book exists first.
Alessandra: They don't know? Not any of them?
Dan: No. I'm not sure they're going to like it when they find out.
Alessandra: If they're really your friends they'll be happy to see your star rise. And they should be at the soirée tonight. When everybody learns that Anonymous is actually Daniel Humphrey.

Dan: Quick question: how big can my head get before it explodes?

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4 Music

  Song Artist
Quite-nice-people Quite Nice People Ida Maria iTunes
Ghost-in-your-bed Ghost In Your Bed My Gold Mask iTunes
Song Jacksons Morning Brush Carlin Music
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