Gossip Girl Round Table: "Beauty and the Feast"

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Welcome to the second Gossip Girl Round Table discussion of the season! Below, our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our official review from earlier this morning) in great detail.

Below, the TVF head honcho himself, Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy), editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines discuss "Beauty and the Feast."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!


What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: "You'll always have me." I guess Dan is making sure he is no longer lonely boy. Dorota and Blair's exchanges at the doctor's come in as a close second though.

Christina: I am a fan of all Derena jabs. Hence, my favorite quote was: "Unlike Serena when I rejected you, I meant it."

Leigh: Since I can't go with the entire sequence of Blair and Dorota, I'll go with Lonely Boy: "Are you gonna go with me still in here? I don't think our friendship can handle that." Translated: Wait you're peeing in front of me? I spend all of my time with girls so I know immediately that this means you probably aren't trying to bang me.

Steve: Chuck almost wistfully recalling Dan's previous literary exploration of him, calling his new book "The return of Charlie Trout." That was a fun night in a jail cell ...

Eric: Pretty much everything out of Dorota's mouth.  But I think Steve said it best with his choice in review title, "Miss Blair Digest Everything Now."

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Pregnant Blair: Entertaining scandal or awful plot twist?

Courtney: I haven't decided yet. This could make for such a great adventure and give new depth to the characters. But I that why we love GG? Is Mommy Blair still going to be as entertaining a Queen B? Jury is still out.

Christina: I'm going with the former. I love seeing Blair scramble (even more than scheming). 

Leigh: The former. Pregnant Blair is the only character on this show who can turn morning sickness and pregnancy cravings into an stand up comedy routine.

Steve: I talked at length in my review about how hilarious I found Blair last night, but threw this out there to discuss the potentially dark future of this storyline: Blair will either tragically lose the baby or be outed as an unwed, pregnant bride-to-be (one way or another). Will this fairy tale end happily for her? I hope. But I worry.

Eric: Entertaining scandal! Did you not witness the amazing OB/GYN scene with Dorota and Blair? They're like sisters, err distant cousins.

Dan: Loyal friend or boring creeper?

Courtney: Loyal friend, no doubt. Writing a book about the group may be categorized as creeper, but he truly is a friend to Blair. Better than he was with S, Nate, or Vanessa.

Christina: Dan's definitely a loyal friend. Without what’s-her-face and Serena, he needed a female friend. Also, his eyes remind me of a loyal puppy.

Leigh: Just like Blair, I was grateful to see Dan at the feast. I'm going with loyal friend on this one.

Steve: Both. He a friend to Blair, no doubt. But the act of writing the book, as Courtney said, and the awkward way he acts around Nate and Chuck? Major creepin' alert. His interactions with Chuck are priceless, however.

Eric: Boring creeper. It's sad when I see one of my favorite characters relegated to the classic Gossip Girl spot of meddler. Wasn't that she-who-can't-be-named's role?

More gullible: Nate or Serena?

Courtney: Serena. Ivy/Charlie was leaving big gaping holes in her stories and S had no idea. She must be exhausted from all the hard work she has been doing...

Christina: I’d bet Nate would fall for the gullible written on the ceiling trick any day. Serena was definitely more gullible though. How many times did Charlie/Ivy almost slip? I lost count.

Leigh: Serena, definitely. She is the queen at believing obvious lies for the sake of companionship. I can't even count how many - oh wait - Georgina, Jenny, she who shall not be named, Juliet ... the list goes on and on.

Steve: You guys are all insane. Serena is not smart. Don't think for a second I'm suggesting that. But she's at least dealing with someone who is family (she thinks), who she knows (a little), who is an actress (albeit not a very good one) and would have no reason (in theory) to lie to her. Diana, meanwhile, is basically a stranger who shows up AT NATE'S MOM'S APARTMENT 3,000 MILES AWAY, tells him some story and he just buys it. Pathetic. Great sex scene, though. 

Eric: Serena. I can forgive Nate being Bedazzled by the Devil herself, Elizabeth Hurley. Again, see what I did there Movie Fanatics? I really must stop hijacking our Round Tables with these.

Rhodes Cousins

Better villain: Beatrice or Diana?

Courtney: Right now I'm going with Diana. Mostly because I have a major girl crush on her and her amazing red dress. It's too soon to tell with Beatrice although if she has a priest on her side, things are bound to get interesting.

Christina: I can't say that I cared too much for either, but if I had to choose... I'd go with Beatrice. The “priest” and Beatrice are obviously up to no good, and I’m ready to see them wreak havoc. 

Leigh: I want to pick Elizabeth Hurley, but she's too lovable to be deemed a real villain! (Even as the devil in Bedazzled, thanks Eric). Beatrice seems as beautiful as she is devious, someone who fits in perfectly with this crew. Blair can't dismiss her immediately, so we know she's here to stay.

Steve: Tough one. Beatrice is seems like the more duplicitous of the two, but Diana is setting her sights on Gossip Girl herself. That kind of gumption makes her formidable. Eric will now discuss her other attributes.

Eric: Diana. It might just be the massive crush I've had on Hurley since I first met her in Austin Powers, but I'm loving her on this show. Even if her being a villain is manipulating Nate, which is pretty much taking candy from a pretty baby.

Harder to believe: Chuck's inability to feel pain, or Charlie/Ivy ... in general.

Courtney: Charlie/ivy in general. Chuck is numb from losing so much and not grieving. I'm with everyone else in wondering why this character is now a series regular.

Christina: Charlie/Ivy. I actually like the painless Chuck storyline. It’s deep, and I’ve grown tiresome of seeing Chuck vying for B or his company. As for the Charlie/Ivy storyline, I can only hope that the writers kill it or her ASAP.  

Leigh: Charlie/Ivy. I understand they wanted another series regular, but all of her thinly-veiled lies have her hanging by a thread. 

Steve: Chuck. It's not unrealistic at all that he's emotional empty, or does extreme things just to feel alive. They could have, and should have left it at that, but the idea that he doesn't physically feel already-cracked ribs during or after an ass whomping in an alley is flat-out ridiculous. He's not Super Bass.

Eric: Charlie/Ivy. Remind me why she's a series regular and we're bringing her back to the UES?

What do you think Rufus and Lily were up to?

Courtney: Lily is shopping online building up her post house arrest wardrobe. Rufus is in the Hamptons cooking chili and wondering how he got into this mess.

Christina: Lily is redecorating the loft... still. Rufus is working on a revamped breakfast menu.

Leigh: Rufus is trying to perfect his latest gourmet waffle recipe so he and Lily can impress Andy Cohen when they have him over for breakfast to negotiate Lily's first post house-arrest appearance on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live.

Steve: Remember when those two were semi-central characters on the show and we didn't have to write absurd questions like this? Neither do I. Coming in future Round Tables: The Rufus Uselessness Scale!

Eric: I have to assume with his wife in jail, or on house arrest, or whatever, Rufus is running out of handbags to carry around. Maybe desperate to find something to do, he decided to reunite the boys of Lincoln Hawk and tour the local retirement communities of South Florida. Yeah, super irrelevant has beens really do that down here. And I'd love to go see Lincoln Hawk. Call it wishful thinking.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

Strawberry fields

Pregnant Blair is interesting. I thought it would feel forced, but fortunately Leighton Meester is working miracles with every story line. Her remarks about morning sickness and tender breasts were hilarious. I wouldn't call Dan a creep. He wrote a book about everyone, but it wasn't supposed to be published. I think of it as more of a diary-type-thing. He is a good friend. Serena just broke a record of stupidity… No coments. In villain contest I'm with Beatrice. What is wrong with Louis? He never noticed that his sister is a power-hungry bitch? Charlie/Ivy in general is hard to believe, but with Chuck the writers went one step too far. If they wanted to create some new issues for him, they should have think of something that makes sanse. Favourite quote: "Even Blair Waldorf cannot bent DNA to her will" :)


Dan and Blair was really the sweetest thing to come out of any tv show in a long time. They just make my heart melt every time. I really don't understand all the people who want this kid to be Chuck's. The man can't even take care of himself. Think about it - he is always drinking, on drugs, making out with countless people, always in some kind of emotional turmoil. That presence wouldn't be at all healthy for a child.
Dan and Blair have the sweetness about them that is missing from most over-sexed couples in this series


@ Carrie: I couldn't agree with you more!


Love the round table! [b]favorite quote?[/b]: There were a lot of great lines tonight. Hesitating between: "Is being dead that much worse than being nothing?" (heartbreaking!) or "Do you want me to tickle you?". [b]Pregnant Blair[/b]: Entertaining scandal! Loving the storyline so far! Not only it's scandalous but there's also a lot of emotions and crazy drama involved. A winner combination! [b]Dan: Loyal friend or boring creeper?[/b] Loyal friend...for now. [b]More gullible: Nate or Serena?[/b] Serena. What the hell was that storyline? [b]Harder to believe: Chuck's inability to feel pain, or Charlie/Ivy.[/b] Ivy. Love Chuck's inability to feel. A bit over the top, but hey, he's Chuck Bass! [b]What do you think Rufus and Lily were up to?[/b] Who cares?


Dan is THE LOYAL FRIEND. He is not a creeper. I can't see how writing a book about your life is anything creepy. in fact shouldn't it be an honour that you are in a book? seriously writing is an awesome talent and maybe as a fellow writer i'm more passionate about this but really guys c'mon dan for some reason always seems to have this stupid lonely boy reference.. he has know blair, serena, chuck and nate for five years.. plus i loved the nate/dan bromance, as far as the person he might be awkward around - this would only be chuck because chuck has always been a selfish bastard and always looked down upon dan! grr. he is obviously lonely though now what with eric, jenny, vanessa, rufus and lilly all out of the picture so of course he's going to go to blair - because they have actually chemistry. my favourite line was also 'you'll always have me' because dan LOVES blair and blair needs someone to trust. she certainly can't trust S who would probably blurt out her secret, or CHUCK. of course I am just here for the dair scenes, although the pregnancy storyline has also helped. Go DAIR.


You guys never fail to crack me up! Great Round Table! 1. I agree with Christina on this one. Chuck's Derena jabs were GOLD especially this one: "Unlike Serena when I rejected you, I meant it." 2. Too soon to tell. Though watching pregnant Blair scramble was entertaining and Dorota and Blair talking about pregnancies was hilarious. 3. A mix of both. I would say he is a loyal creeper. Dude doesn't give up. Suddenly he's up in everyone's business and gathering information to use later for his own selfish reasons. Or he's just in desperate need of friends and has no problem associating with people he used to hate. In any case, Dan stop following people around!! 4. Serena. Although I won't use that against her because she's a sweetheart and Charlie/Ivy is supposedly her cousin who's already on meds. Nate is a guy who thinks with other parts of his anatomy right now so he's got a perfect excuse to just go with the flow. 5. Diana of course! As is I would ever choose any member of the Grimaldi family. Anyone who shares the same blood with the Prince of All Things Boring needs to go back to Monaco and take him with them. 6. Charlie/Ivy. Why do we need another regular again? And if we do, does it really have to be her? I find Chuck's storyline very interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing how it's played out. 7. Rufus is trying to find a way to make me care about his character. I'm pretty sure he will fail so I can't wait to your Rufus Uselessness Scale. Lily is still redecorating only for us to come back and see her apartment looking exactly the same as we left it. It's the same thing with the show since S4. They say that they're trying new things to make the show more fun and enjoyable and though some aspects of it changed, it sucks even more. It was a rather decent episode but it could definitely use some spark and emotion, the kind that only some Chuck and Blair interaction can provide.


1. Three words, ten letters. Chuck's "I'll help you." to Dan. Never thought I'd see the day. How desperate does that make Chuck?
2. Pregnant Bleh = awful plot twist. After summer hiatus, I forgot the fake french accents make 'Blair' sound like 'Bleh' until Louis did it last night.
3. I think Dan's right in the gray area between loyal and creeper. As long as nobody knew about the book, he was loyal. But now that it's out there, CREEPER!
4. Serena! She's is being duped by a fake relative she clearly hadn't seen in years or she'd know Charl-Ivy's a fake. I don't care how disfunctional a family is. You should know your first cousins by sight and recognize them and their imposters.
5. I'm going to choose Beatrice if only because she's a really good look-alike for a real Monegasque royal, Chorlotte Casiraghi. And she's hooking up with the "priest". That's never good!
6. It's a toss up here. Chuck and Blair have broken up so many times that I find it hard to believe that Chuck giving his blessing to Bleh's marriage to Louis was such a traumatic event that it left him unable to feel pain. On the other hand, if we're going to be stuck with a poor girl pretending to be a rich girl on the UES, I'd rather have Juliet than Charl-Ivy. Juliet had better resources, was prettier, and the actress playing her was a better actress.
7. I totally forgot there were parents still on the show! Is there a point to having Lilly & Rufus around? Will they be the new Uselessness Scale? Overall, I think it was a weak episode compared to the season premiere.


Pregnant Blair: Entertaining scandal or awful plot twist?
It could go either way, too soon to tell. I agree that it has the potential to end badly...I really do not want a miscarriage but I don't know if Mommy!Blair is going to be believable. Dan: Loyal friend or boring creeper?
Loyal friend but also slightly creeper. I think Dan's attraction to Blair one of the more interesting aspects of the show, so I'm hoping even if it doesn't develop into anything more that the friendship aspect stays. More gullible: Nate or Serena?
Hmmmm. Both should suspect something is up, but I feel Serena should at least be slightly suss as she knows the 'Charlie' has been on meds and is acting strangely. Better villain: Beatrice or Diana?
I think both are going to be great, I'm keen to see what Diana gets up to. Harder to believe: Chuck's inability to feel pain, or Charlie/Ivy ... in general.
Fail, serious fail on both counts. I only accept the ridiculousness because it's GG.


Roundatabe epic as always. You guys actually get (and mock) what the writers are telling us, good or ridiculous. @M Blair's having Chuck's baby, so you are seriously trying to tell me their over? Do you not watch tv on a regular basis at all? DB is a friendship,Blair's not into him. She picked dead french fry Louis over him.Get real. Also, Chair said their "goodbyes" check the title on the episode- The "Wrong Goodbye". Not good for you.


Loved this roundtable! You guys are great!

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Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 2 Quotes

OB GYN: Dorota, how are you?
Blair: She's fine. I'm Blair, Dorota's employer. I have a few questions.
Dorota: Just go with it. Is only way.
Blair: What about breast sensitivity? She practically screams when anyone touches them. I can hear her all the way in Queens.
Doctor: Perfectly normal.
Blair: Great. And how long until she can determine the father of her child? She's had a few one night stands with the staff of our building...
Dorota: Blair Cornelia Waldorf!

Dan: Blair, what's going on? I thought you were mad at me.
Blair: And I forgive you if you shut up and guard the door.
Dan: It's not like you to forgive me. Or run away from a feast.