90210 Review: Lame Political Games

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They say politics is a dirty game. They also say it's not whether you win or lose but how you play the game that matters. But all these cliches meant little because "Party Politics" was one shindig I did not want to attend.

Silver and Navid just wanted to get busy and convinced Annie to babysit bratty Leila. Why did Leila need babysitting? She's 17 going on 40. All was going as planned until Silver discovered the big bag of money Navid had hidden. Silver then became all high and mighty and told Navid she couldn't be with him anymore. Must be nice in that ivory tower, huh, Silver?

Welcome, Brandi

Naomi and Austin's chemistry continued to boil to a simmer. All roads were leading to the usual place until Naomi decided to blow off Austin and stick with Max. First, Austin needs to get rid of that stupid cowboy hat. We get it. You're the country hick. Second, I was supposed to believe that Austin actually had feelings for Naomi. Really? Does anyone buy this? Please.

But the fact that within the span of 45 minutes Naomi went from all hot and bothered to realizing she had no feelings for Austin seemed blatantly fake. Even for her.

While I did like the whole Strip The Vote voter registration schtick, I started to get the feeling that Max will be riding off into the sunset soon. He seems so last season all of a sudden. And I just couldn't get over the feeling that our crazy Naomi was lying when she confessed to Max that she had no feelings for Austin. We'll see about that.

Elsewhere, Annie was blackmailed by Leila when the little brat discovered what kind of a date Annie was really on and asked for a cut of Annie's profits. Spoken like the true scammer that she is. What I wanted to know was why Annie all of a sudden was cowering in fear and begging Leila not to expose her secret. Who cares? Annie hasn't exactly been Polly Pureheart as I recall.

Teddy continued his long goodbye and chose family over love when he decided to campaign for his homophobe uncle. Bug-eyed Brandy Norwood played the young politician, Marissa Harris-Young, who was running against sleazy Uncle Charles. I'm not quite sure why the writers keep torturing poor Teddy with his dismal choices but I did not believe for one second that Teddy would give up a chance at a hot romance with Shane, his Barcelona flame.

Uncle Charles should hook up with Uncle Amal and they should both ride off take their act somewhere else together. It's almost like those characters were brought into the BH mix just to say there are two adults on the show. They must be having a sleazy uncle special in Beverly Hills.

Dixon went from being a tweaked out turd to becoming Cobra Starship's favorite new star of the month. Courtesy, of course, of Adrianna who invited the band to perform at Naomi's Strip The Vote party. And I'm sure next week we'll see Dixon crashing and burning a la Adrianna last year. And then these two will get together, reports say.

Speaking of Adrianna, she needs to either get a new job or find a new zip code because she's being woefully underused this season. Wildcat Adrianna was infinitely more interesting than this watered down version.

And, thankfully, the whole Liam and Jane thing fizzled out. Jane's dead husband, Jim, came back from the beyond and reclaimed his woman like the true Neanderthal he seemed to be. Jim and Liam got in a fistfight over Jane (because yes, she was all that... not!) and then became friends again. And then just like that, Jane and Jim were gone.

Let's hope next week - which appears to be an especially dramatic episode - brings the crazy because these politics were just lame.

Party Politics Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.7 / 5.0 (60 Votes)
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90210 Season 4 Episode 5 Quotes

Jane: Jim!
Liam: You're alive.

I'm gonna put new meaning behind the phrase "political party".

Naomi

90210 Season 4 Episode 5 Music

  Song Artist
If You Wanna The Vaccines iTunes
Song Can You Feel It Keith Kohn
Miss Cindy The High Decibels iTunes