Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Save yourselves from further embarrassment and cancel the show (the show is now akin to listening to Whitney Houston in her brilliant heyday, and listening to her (and looking at her) in 2012...yikes; God Rest her soul); the show is truly horrific now and is only getting worse with each and every episode. To use the old expression, "You need to know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em." BRING BACK CHARLIE SHEEN OR CANCEL THE SHOW, PLEASE!!!!


For CBS to actually lose Sheen and stand behind Lorre was clearly a huge mistake! The network allowed Lorre's ego to rule over common sense. They took the number one show on TV, substituted its main character, and now, simply stated, the show no longer works! It's not funny, Kutcher is out of place no matter how hard they try to write a funny script, and the show is spiraling downward uncontrollably. I believe THE SHOW WILL ULTIMATELY BE CANCELLED. Lorre & CBS could potentially save the show by admitting they never should have let Sheen go; Charlie could simply have returned once clean & sober, which now he appears to be. So Lorre needs to take one for the team, say a prayer to God that God lessens Lorre’s obviously, overly prideful self, and extend an olive branch to Sheen, and let's get this show moving forward, once again; I for one would be greatly appreciative.BRING BACK CHARLIE SHEEN OR CANCEL THE SHOW, PLEASE!!!!


This past episode around 'blowing chunks'.....really / I'm dun....


Omg......Ashton Kutcher can't possibly get any cornnier!!!! He truly sucks. Simply said.


Last nights episode with all the vomitting was utterly disgusting. I turned it off and watched HGTV. The complete season is a disastor, the show may as well be taken off the air right now, please do not continue to show this garbage on prime time tv.
Jakes character is really terrible and Alan and his girlfriend is gross.


Ashton Kutcher is so funny, Charlie became really boring repeating the same things over and over, good luck Ashton hope to see lots more from you.


I think it's really sad the show only lasted 8 seasons. Seeing season 9 doesn't count. Bring back Charlie and maybe people will start watching again.


2 and a Half Men definitely is no longer any good ever since Charlie Sheen left it. It really does suck and I too stopped after the second show with Ashton because it is just so impossibly bad. Come back Charlie!


The ratings f two and a half men has dropped since kutcher appeared on the show however chuck lore is one of the greatest writers of all time he could make up a storyline for his return. Surely there is a way that cast could come to some agreement to bring Charlie Sheen back into the show


The ratings f two and a half men has dropped since kutcher appeared on the show however chu

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.