Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


I need a Ritalin drip to stay focused enough to watch an episode of two and a half men with Ashton Kutcher. It's painful to watch. Better to scrap that show and start a new one, without Ashton, maybe a sitcom with Alan moving in with Herb, I miss the old characters.


Ashton Kutcher is one of the most UNfunny actors out there. He's terrible. I miss the old Berta/Alan/Jake/Charlie funny as hell moments. For Charlie's sake, i hope this show doesn't make it past season 10


I've tried to watch this show since Kutcher's been on, but I just don't think it's funny, and neither "Alan" or "Jake" click with him like they did with Charlie. Thank goodness for re-runs - I can see them 6 nights a week for an hour. It seems so natural between the orginal three, it's hard to believe they had to learn a script. I miss Charlie and can't see how this show will survive without him.


You guys lost it. I won't watch it anymore. I've switched to another one of Chucks shows. Big Bang theory. Much better than the new 2.5 men.


At the very least, they should have made Walden a nephew of Evelyin and cousin of Alan and Charlie and Jake. The show is about a FAMILY. So he would have showed up and the funeral and said how Charlie stuck his head in the toilet one Christmas etc. but he's still said Charlie died... then he moves in with ALan to split the rent. But then creative changes would have to be made, like Alan becoming the "new Charlie" now that his dark side is coming out. Having Walden as the New Charlie is just pathetic, he's too much like the old Alan.


Ok, the show does suck w/o Charlie. However, the writers r still the same so why isn't the show funny anymore? Where r Judith & Herb? They were a riot too. And no more Mom? Get it together writers!!!


Charlie is the type of actor that other actors can bounce off of easily. That's what made Alan. Berta, his mother, Rose and even Jake so good. Other than Ashton just not being funny this is why the show is not good any more. I think what even butt needs to be kissed should be kissed and what ever dollar amount paid should be paid to get Charlie Harper back or the show should end gracefully being remembered as the funniest comedy ever to run on CBS.


was a great show, but without Charlie it is pretty bad.They would be better pulling the plug now before it gets any worse.


Tried to watch 2 and 1/2 men again-lousy. Walden should be a character that acts just as Charlie would.


TO the writers: Just say that Charlie faked his own death, and BRING HIM BACK. Or you could go with Charlie as a ghost only seen by Rose and maybe Jake. I never watch the new version. It's terrible. I miss Charlie's mother, Charlie's stalker, Charlie's housekeeper, Charlie's pharmacist, and Charlie's psychiatrist, too!!

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.