Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.




HATE! the new show with Ashton K. Stupid, inappropriate,NOT FUNNY. I ONLY WATCH the re-runs with Charlie Sheen. And, WHY was Jake "dumbed down"? Never watch. I sincerely hope this goes off-air. Bring back Sheen, or not, but no one I know ever watches it since Sheen left.


Could the writing SUCK any more.???
Why does Alan's character have to be such a putz? What happened to his job? Can't anyone come up with any new stuff for him?
The reason Charlie worked so good was because of his women chasing......his boozing and playing off the other casts. WHY is Walden in a relationship? It's hard to take a Charlie's place when all the writing is sooooooo boring lovie dovie CRAP.


I am so disappointed in the director & producers of 2 and 1/2 men. First losing Charlie was their biggest mistake. Second - Ashton Kutchers character is so boring and dull. Third - The woman who plays Zoey is horrible. She can't act if her life depended on it. Now mind you - if they found a better replacement for Charlie but kept the same other characters in it more often such as Evelyn, Berta, Judith, Herb and even Rose - there may have been hope. Alan and Jake are awesome as is the one who plays Alan's girlfriend but the characters from the past shoes with Charlie - meaning the women and Herb - made the show funny, powerful and a blast to watch. I wish it luck but if it survives this next season with the same pattern especially Zoey - I will be shocked and disappointed.


Ashton Kutcher is really not funny


Walden should fuck Ava. I would.


Guess I will be watching FX come June as CHARLIE SHEEN makes the debut in Anger Management ! Yippee and with star studded cast


Hey chuck most of us Americans don't have your $ we need a laugh to get thru our sometimes crappy life . Give me back laughter.


I was a regular viewer, now I can't bear to watch chuck swallow your shit pride and restore America's favorite comedy. Time for you to be a big man small fry. This show is bs not funny


Maybe they shouldve tried getting emilio estevez to replace charlie sheen...idk. Just hoping charlie comes back.

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.