Two and a Half Men

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Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.

Review

Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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Watching the shows makes me want to puche

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Two and a Half Men was my favorite show when Charlie Sheen was on the show, now it SUCKS! Just watched tonight's episode where Walden is reunited with his childhood brother...a gorilla. I don't see how the show can get any worse. Ashton Kutcher's character is just plain stupid. Show needs to be cancelled!!!

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Chuck Lorre is so rich, he dont give a crap what we the veiwers want. He has made his money and ran. To bad not one writer or producer cares about what we think of the new show. So sad the show had to end like this. Allen should have got Charles house and been able to be the cool guy with the bucks for a while, and would have been funny to see Herb move in with Allens daughter on weekends, and Bertta babysitten. That would be something worth watching, Aston is dirty looking, who would sleep with him?Sorry to sound mean but he is so weird looking, and bad actor. Alan, Jake, Bertta, and Herb would be awesome together with grandma babysiting a little. Alan should be the main man now, PLEASE GIVE IT A TRY, ask we the people what we want!!!!!
Racquel

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I just say, bring Charlie back or else. I've left the show already. They miscast Kutcher. He's just not right for this part.

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if only CBS had the decency to cancel that show

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this show sucks now.

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walden has a little one. why do you think i got rid of him?

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I Love Charlie. Walden Is a Republican PIG.Charley would help a girl In need. Walden Is George Bush

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Fucking jew, nigger cunt, fag.
BRING CRL BACK

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The show is awful. I haven't watched since the first one. If all of you quit watching, maybe they'll get the idea if the ratings drop enough. As long as people keep watching, it shows that at least some people still like it so it will stay on as is.

Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.