Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Ashton sucked on that 70's show and he still sucks.


It is too bad Charlie is gone. I have completely lost interest in the show. The Walden character cannot pull it off. Ashton Kutcher might be nice to look at, but it seems like the show is based off of that now and it's lost its appeal. The humor is not the same and the Charlie character was real, this one is an embarrassment. He is so dumb it is even insulting to watch. I feel that it was a slap in the face to think that we could go from the humor when Charlie was in it, to this type of "stupid" humor. I did give the show a chance with Ashton, but it is not nearly as good and you will continue to lose viewers!! Swallow your pride and bring Charlie back!


Thank god of the comments below. I almost started to believe that the ratings ARE NOT tampered, and that it's only me. I seriously can't figure out why so many people can still watch this show as is showed in the ratings. There not so many morons in the world, and in this thread alone, there is probably less than 5% of people who said they DO like the new show. The show is simply horendous in comparison with the first seasons. 7-8 seasons started to show some decline, but still they were 10x more funny than what we have now. BTW, I stopped watching after 6th or 7th episode.


I don't believe that is only what they could make. Horribly written, horribly played. Fcking gorilla, really???


The show totally sucks with Asston Kutcher. No talent, the appearance of a dog, it got old on the first show with him. If Sheen cannot get back on the show and make it happen, then end this mess now.


I have tried hard to like the new Two and a half men. But it keeps getting worse and worse. I hardly get a laugh, and the only reason I am still watching is because I am hoping for a HUGE improvement.


Hallelujah for RERUNS! I TRIED my best also to get into the new NO avail. ;-( Honestly, Ashton's character is PATHETIC. All of that damned whining & moaning like a little girl pisses me off. ;-0 The dialogue stinks too! Did they fire some of the writers along w/Charlie?! Jon Cryer is hilarious to me but absolutely nothing can save this mess. I miss Charlie! ;-) As bad as he was...


Walden free since the first five minutes of that trash they called Two and a Half Men. The show's not even a shadow of its former self. Reruns are all that remain. It's a damn shame CBS didn't slap some sense into Chuck Lorre. At some point in your life, SOMEBODY is going to take a shot at you. Doesn't warrant oneself to shove their head up their ass and tear the world asunder. Idiocy strikes again. This time at my previous favorite show. Ashton is a chump trying to fill shoes he'll never amount to. That 70s Show was perfect for him. Only requirement was to be himself.


As much as I like Ashton in movies, I tried over and over to like the new two and a half men I just don't!! :( That's charlies show and will never be the same with out him!!


This weeks episode was the worst. They should have just left the other characters on the show. They definitely miscast Ashton Kutcher. He is not right for the part or even this particular show. They should have cancelled the show or made Alan and his son the main characters. The existing cast could have carried the show but putting Ashton in there was just a bad mistake. I like Charlie Sheen but he obviously is not coming back to this show so I predict this is the last season for Two and a Half Men.

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.