Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


I gave it a chance, it sucks without Charlie. I now watch Anger Management. Please get Charlie back.........this ship sank.


I hate this show now. It used to be funny but now is just disgusting.
A whole show with most of the cast sitting around gettin stoned.
There is no more sweet moments, no physical comedy, just trash.
Jack and Charlie are now gone and in their place are crude, unlikeable people. This show has gone overboard. I have been watching 2 and a half men since the beginning and figured I would give the new cast members a go but the last episode just left me feeling stunned. I won't be watching this show again, why bother.
What a waste of a half hour.


I always switch channels when Ashton comes on. He is the perfect miscast. No charisma, not funny, no nothing - more or less just an eyesore. Either dump him or make him Berta's assistant. Stay in the background, dumpster cleaning - what else would you take that guy for?


This show has only 8 seasons for me! Bring Charlie back, Ashton is a total miscast!


I hate seeing Ashton on this show it just doesn't seem right. He's not funny, the show is now the same they should have just ended it and kept their pride after Charlize departure. But now it just not the same show any more. Not good.


down the tube since charlie sheen left. getting tired of seeing allen masturbate


2.5 is no longer funny, plizz bring back charlie sheen, without him the show is over to me


The writers have really lost the plot on this one. It was very painful watching just one episode but I tried a second and did myself an injury. I for one will stick to the re-runs. It's a real shame or maybe its just gone past it's sell by date. I hope they will never re-run this awful, awful this new series.


This show needs a facelift! Since Walden arrived, the show is just plain dumb! Ashton is really miscast for the show... Alan and Charlie had a chemistry that just isn't there anymore....if the show can't have Charlie Sheen anymore, than they need to find a "replacement" for him! This cast just doesn't have the chemistry anymore.... Very disappointing for a show that I looked forward to seeing every week!


The show is in its sunset seasons. They're using celebrity props to get a quick surge in ratings here and there but long term - this is a sinking ship. Lorre and Co. are focusing on Big Bang, Mike and Molly. This is just a way to generate dough for them so they can keep working on those productions while they put this lame-o effort to bed.

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.