Gossip Girl Round Table: Season Five Premiere

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Welcome to the first TV Fanatic Gossip Girl Round Table of the season! Below, our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our review from earlier this morning) from all angles.

Below, TVF shot-caller Eric Hochberger (a.k.a. Gossip Guy) and editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) are joined by staff writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines to discuss "Yes, Then Zero."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!

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What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: "People like me don't write books, they're written about." Absolute perfection by Chuck Bass.

Christina: Chuck: "Serena, you accepted responsibility without hesitation for maybe the first time in your life. And Nate, you had more fun not being you than you've ever had actually being you. Which means you now know you need to change." Dead on. Finally, a bit of realism on Gossip Girl.

Leigh: Marshall to Chuck: "Who are you?" Serena and Nate: "He's Chuck Bass." Had to go with the classic on this one.

Steve: Courtney and Eric's choice was clearly the best, but to mix it up, I'll go with Nate's musings on weed and life. I love being reminded of what a stoner he is at heart.

Eric: "People like me don't write books, they're written about." Glad the "yes man" Chuck is still a cocky bastard.

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What did you like and dislike most about the premiere?

Courtney: I liked that everyone seemed to be having fun again, a back to basics premiere showing why we all fell in love with this show in the first place. Blair was on her game, Serena looked pretty, Chuck was being hot... felt like old times. I am loving the Blair pregnancy storyline... hopefully they don't bail out of it in some way. There wasn't much I disliked... I don't see the need for Charlie/Ivy to come back and I am not so sold on the adult stories playing a huge part (looking at you, Elizabeth Hurley). Hopefully her arc works out better than Russell Thorpe's last season.

Christina: Sometimes a change of scenery can be nice. LA served as a great spot for Chuck, Nate and Serena to have a simpler than usual summer. I disliked that Blair seemed more whiny and irritating than usual.

Leigh: I loved seeing Nate, Serena, and Chuck hanging out and having some good old-fashioned fun. Unfortunately I still really dislike the Louis storyline. Blair is not her usual snarky, wonderful self around him.

Steve: I only had minor complaints, such as Marshall's lame plot to oust Serena and too much of Louis' mom. Other than that, it was a fun episode with a lot of heart and a major twist. Vintage Gossip Girl.

Eric: I loved the light-hearted feeling of the LA scenes. I disliked Chace Craword's terrible acting. Maybe it was because I haven't seen the show in months, but was he always this terrible and I was just distracted by his beauty?

Prince Louis: Boring and naive, or devoted and principled?

Courtney: Boring and naive. I want to like him, I really do. But I find myself hardly listening when he talks. He may be the sweetest guy, and he is even a prince... but that still holds no competition against Chuck Bass or even Dan Humphrey. Time for the Prince and his bossy mother to go.

Christina: How about utterly boring and naive? Prince Louis didn’t once question Dan why he would write a story about HIS fiancé. 

Leigh: See above. Snoozefest.

Steve: Christina makes a great point above - On the heels of her liaison with Chuck last season, too. The fact that we're debating between THREE guys as the father of Baby Waldorf proves Louis' naivete.

Eric: Are we comparing him to the yacht-owning, building-jumping, motorcycle-riding Chuck? Then obviously boring and naive. But if we're comparing him to other princes, he's as exciting as Blair could ask for and seems ridiculously devoted to her. Shut up and take your fairytale ending, even if it is Monaco. Not everyone can be Kate Middleton and land England.

Nathaniel in L.A.

Hardest to believe: Serena showing actual work ethic, Dan's book getting published immediately and anonymously, or Nate having a moment of self-reflection?

Courtney: This is such a difficult choice because they are all so hard to believe! I'm going to take Serena showing actual work ethic because Dan has been published before and Nate is old enough he should be able to do some self-reflection. There's no way the UES princess would be that devoted to getting coffee.

Christina: Serena and work ethic just don’t belong in the same sentence. I’m so used to seeing Serena as the damsel in distress or chasing boys that it’s hard to believe she’d actually succumb to the working world.

Leigh: Nate doing anything besides attracting cougars.

Steve: Dan has an awfully easy time getting published by elite magazines, but at least that's been consistent from the show's inception. Ditto for Nate being a bit of a lost soul. Serena showing real ambition, not motivated by her love interest du jour? Or deterred by setbacks? Now that caught me off guard.

Eric: First off, I just finished reading The Help, and let me tell you, they love publishing anonymous books and those things catch like wildfire. That check will be first of many. Just watch out for those tempting chocolate cakes. Now, let's be honest, Nate having a moment of any kind of thinking, even if it is marijuana-induced, is beyond comprehensible. Can we please just get him to sit in the corner and stop talking?

Did you miss Jenny, Eric and Vanessa?

Courtney: Honestly... no. Jenny and Eric had been so MIA over the past season, I hardly noticed they were gone. The only reason I noticed Vanessa wasn't around was because no one was wearing any ridiculous outfits. These three haven't had a really good story since the beginning of the series, if at all (Vanessa...). No loss coming from me.

Christina: How about none of the above? Jenny always ruined everything, Eric is kind of boring, and I’m sure I don’t need to explain my reasoning for Vanessa.

Leigh: I don't really miss any of them. If I had to pick, I'd say Eric, but I like Connor Paolo over at Revenge.

Steve: Jenny always stirred up drama. Eric was (usually) the show's moral compass. Both played key roles, felt like family and will be missed. As for she-who-must-not-be-named, my colleague will handle that:

Eric:
J: I think she just went a little heavy on the eye shadow and disappeared into the shadows. Not convinced she's gone.
E: Of course! But I know he's just on vacation in the Hamptons. Luckily we can still catch his adventures out there on Revenge. Not sure why they changed his name though. It's confusing.
V: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Good one, Steve.

Who is the father of Blair's baby?!

Courtney: Tough call. It can't be the Prince because that would just make to much sense since they are going to be getting married and all. Of course who wouldn't want it to be Chuck? Daddy Bass would be extremely hot. But I'm going with Humphrey. I'm thinking some things went on between these two that we haven't learned about yet. And hey, he probably is the most suited considering his short lived daddy to Georgina's kid.

Christina: I'm going with Chuck because I still believe in happy endings - even for our Upper Eastsiders.

Leigh: I'm gonna go with Chuck on this one. She took the pregnancy test before Monaco, and there was mention of how she and Louis spent all summer in bed. I think she knows it's Chuck's and had tons of sex with Louis to try and pass it off as his.

Steve: Dan, if only because that revelation would be the ultimate OMFG moment.

Eric: Dan. That guy is so potent even his kiss can impregnate a woman. Just ask G.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

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Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes

Dan: It's Blair's Save the Date.
Rufus: You're not happy. You guys are still friends, right?
Dan: Yeah. Friends. I wonder if she invited Chuck.
Rufus: If he's anywhere that FedEx can reach.

Dan: Dad! What are you doing here? I thought you'd still be in London helping Jenny set up St. Martin's.
Rufus: She and Eric kicked me out when I didn't know who Sierra Burton was, so I came back here early and thought I'd spend some time with you.