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John: Elena, as your father it's my responsibility to give you 'The Talk'...

Elena: Umm, John I really don't think that that's necessary. Dating a vampire remember?

John: True, but somehow I don't think that's going to last considering how he's become a murderous bloodsucker again. So this is just for future reference.

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John: Elena, as your father it's my responsibility to give you 'The Talk'...

Elena: Yeah, well you can't talk if you're dead. Goodbye John!

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John: Yeah right like anyone's going to believe that I committed suicide.

Katherine: Not even with this handwritten suicide note?

I killed Alison. I lost my temper because she knew too much, but there's only so much you can bury. It won't be that easy, but I know to get rid of the pain. I can't run from the law. Come and find me. - John

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Katherine: You're supposed to be dead.

John: Pot, kettle, black?!

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Katherine: I thought you were dead?

John: Nah, still got a couple of Horcruxes left

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Elena: Please tell me you're not one of Jeremy's dead ex-girlfriends...

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Elena: Wow. I guess I must have cared for you more than I realised if I'm hallucinating about you now.

John: Elena, relax. I'm not a hallucination - I'm a ghost! Isn't that great?

Elena: Yeah...just great...yay...

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Katherine: Aren't you dead?
John: Yes, yes I am.

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John: Elena, you look so much like your mother.

Katherine: Hmmm, so there's nobody else who I share even more of a resemblance with?

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Katherine: I know I'm extraordinarily beautiful but I swear if you don't stop staring at me like that I'll carve out your eyes!



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