Gossip Girl Round Table: "Petty in Pink"

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Welcome back to the weekly TVF Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our review from earlier this morning).

Below, TV Fanatic Managing Partner Mister Meester is joined by a gentleman who needs no introduction, our esteemed President Gossip Guy, to discuss "Petty in Pink."

Our colleague DANdy is still off partying with Jack Bass on a multi-nation tour of Southeast Asia and remains MIA. Pray for him. It's a two-man show again for now:

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1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: Just because I love the always under-utilized character that shares my name: "The only thing thicker than blood is the ink on Page Six." Though when will they realize the only celebrity gossip site that matters is THG? Close second: Blair's shot at Charlie hailing from Florida. I love when they make fun of my home state. Trust me, it deserves it.

Mister Meester: Where to even begin? Sorely lacking last week, the funny lines were definitely back in "Petty in Pink." The Lindsay Lohan reference, Chuck nonchalantly saying scotch takes the edge off the coke, Blair deriding Dorota's selection of the "sex tape" dress (which she in fact owns) and Dan destroying Vanessa were some of my favorites.

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2. Lily under house arrest: A fair punishment?

Gossip Guy: A little ridiculous. Even the alluded to Martha Stewart had to spend some time in prison before getting house arrest. And come on, in modern times with technology and the ability to blackmail your friends online, how bad would house arrest even be!?

Mister Meester: It's kind of silly, but because it lets Lily stay home and do her thing, as opposed to taking up the bulk of 3-4 episodes while the gang tries to spring her from Rikers Island, I'll chalk this up to exemplary writing and move on.

3. Was that actually Raina's mother?

Gossip Guy: Absolutely. This is Gossip Girl. Not even death can kill people. But man, you'd think she would have gotten a nice enough silence package from Bart to not have to wait tables in Jersey. Or even to have to live in Jersey. Poor woman.

Mister Meester: Hard to believe they'd go to the trouble of introducing this Avery Thorpe only to have Raina's mother die in that fire. But why would Russell hate Chuck and Bart so much if she were alive? Unless Russell doesn't know either ...

Kissin' Cousins

SPIES IN PINK: Charlie and Serena plot their next dubious move.

4. Will Dan and Charlie hook up?

Gossip Guy: If asking her to stay and drinking beers wasn't already enough, she is (non-blood) related to the guy. We all know Lonely Boy can't resist a relative or a woman close to S.

Mister Meester: The way these last two episodes ended basically guaranteed this, right? Charlie will help Dan woo Blair, only she'll secretly be wooing him. Side Charlie Note: That photo of Dair kissing was hilarious. Dan and Blair must really be into each other, because neither noticed a phone approximately 18 inches from their faces.

5: Harder to believe: Charlie's instant love for spying, the idea that the Prince would be taken back to Paris unless his handler saw Dair kissing, or ANY of Serena's reasoning?

Gossip Guy: I'm not even going to discuss the attractive yet useless Charlie. But, atop Serena's unbelievable body and inside her gorgeous head, there is absolutely nothing going on. I'd believe any line of reasoning she came up with. Meanwhile, the Prince's handler was beyond ridiculous. Really, he'd follow Blair and Dan upstairs? Is he a middle schooler?

Mister Meester: Charlie and Lucien's spying at least somewhat fit the suspended reality that is Gossip Girl in general, so I'm gonna go with Serena. None of what she said or did made any semblance of sense. Who is she, Vanessa?

6: Rate last night on the Vanessa Uselessness Scale (1-10)?

Gossip Guy: 10. I know, extremely low on my scale. Granted she was as useless as ever, but man it was beyond hilarious this week. After Dan planned on standing her up, she came all the way to his door only to be told they'll never be friends and to basically have the door closed in her face. Hilarious. That took her down from my original rating of 4,324 to a much more modest 10. Meanwhile, Nate is slowly pushing his way up to quadruple digits. Watch yourself, Man Bangs or we might have to switch up the weekly VUS to the NUS.

Mister Meester: 7. She was actually somewhat useful by her standards, even if she basically just exists so she can meddle in others' business and they can hate her.

7: Blair gets engaged at season's end. Will it be to Chuck, Dan or Prince Louis?

Gossip Guy: Yuck, I'm the biggest supporter of Dair, but never in the form of anything long term. Now that I swallowed that vomit, I'm going to cast my vote for the Prince. Not because I think the marriage will happen, but because I think it'll make Chuck step up his game.

Mister Meester: Look, I'm all for Chuck and Blair and their undeniable chemistry. But both Dan and Louis have shown they care about her and not just because she's with someone else. B deserves a guy with more maturity whose connection with her goes beyond scheming.

For now, I'm casting my vote for Team Blouis. If nothing else, he's treating her right and will make the Prince and the Pauper fight for her even harder.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Great episode... but the only thing I can think about in this roundtable is the fact that people keep referring to the "sex tape" skirt as Blair's. They didn't discover the skirt until her and Dorota raided Serena's closet thus making it her skirt not Blair's which makes 100x more sense anyways.

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1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night? Not a quote but the entire monologue of Blair's in front of the mirror. Her whole scheme is ridiculous and over complicated but it makes perfect sense to her. I also loved Eric when he was like "I don't know who that is"...About Louis. I loved that one person at least wasn't sucked into Blair's strange love life. 2. Lily under house arrest: A fair punishment? Meh ending to a meh plotline. I was just hoping to see less of Lily but I did love her Pink Party revenge. Who the hell is Anne Archibald to judge Lily anyways? Her family is way more sleazy than Lily's, even with Serena in it. But totally realistic she would attack like the vicious lap dog she is. Never liked her. She got all judgy with Blair earlier this season and I was like "Bitch, no". 3. Was that actually Raina's mother? Oh God, I could care less. Raina is not a successful character, she needs to go the way of Eva. 4. Will Dan and Charlie hook up? When they do, let it be said that I called it!! Dan=Incest. But I do like Charlie, I thought she was cute in this ep. Although she did come off a little stalker-ish of Dan but she is a Rhodes after all...She won't wait for the man to come to her! 5.Harder to believe: Charlie's instant love for spying, the idea that the Prince would be taken back to Paris unless his handler saw Dair kissing, or ANY of Serena's reasoning? I'm going have to say Lucien, that was stupid. I mean come on! The girl he's talking about is going upstairs with some other dude!!! That's like party code for hookup. A French man would KNOW that. He wouldn't go after them for crying out loud! Charlie taking to spying with over enthusiastic zeal is absolutely realistic, she has 18 years of manipulative behavior. to make up for. She's a Rhodes! And Serena's reasoning makes sense...To Serena. 6: Rate last night on the Vanessa Uselessness Scale (1-10)? Because of Dan's amazing speech to her, I'm going to have to say a 0. It was good to see Dan get his balls back. Now, she'll desperately try to get him back and it will be fun to watch. 7: Blair gets engaged at season's end. Will it be to Chuck, Dan or Prince Louis? Hell, I waiting to see if there's any I-dos before I'm even convinced an actual marriage will happen. But I think that Blair's not even 20, she's doesn't need to be engaged. But if I were to guess, I'm thinking it's Chuck. Dan won't ask Blair to marry him this early (also Charlie is being set up as his rebound girl, I can just FEEL it), Louis will get down on one knee but Blair won't leave New York, so that leaves our resident Prince of Darkness. Two men have rings, Louis and Chuck. So it has to be one of them. Either she'll say yes to Louis now and back out later or Chair has wedding bells in their future. And Jack will be back to crash the wedding... But a side note for those that say that Chuck doesn't care that Blair rejected him, obviously he does. Otherwise he wouldn't need Scotch to "take the edge of the coke". But thinking your dad may have killed someone would be tough to take, especially since the guy is dead and you can't just ask him straight out. While I don't approve of his lack of responsibility, I can see why the guy would be stressed. And wtf is his ex doing with his best friend, IN HIS HOTEL???? Raina should at least have the class to take Nate to her place. As for Nate, he can be forgiven because he really doesn't know better.

Kimberly-anne

Well for one thing, this episode was soooo much better than last week’s.
I did very much enjoy this one because it was mostly about Blair like it was portrayed in the promo, not like other episodes where it was purely false advertisement (*Dark Night* cough, cough).
This one was very funny to watch and I enjoy it very much. Charlie is annoying just like I predicted. I thought it was a little over the top that she would stalk Dan after Serena brushed her off about him and Blair. Like come on, this was her first time and she’s this obsess? Yeah, right.
I was happy for Lily that she managed to pull a fast one on the other ladies. Her rant to the officers about them having Botox and wears pink dresses was great. But I thought it was kind of stupid that she wore a dress that was meant to be short in the front and long in the back, when she wanted to hid her monitor.
This is kind of out of the blue but when Damien went to Russell in the last episode before the nig break, was that like him getting back at the Van der Woodsen? Did he even stick around to see how that played out?
Anyway, Serena was more arrogant than usual. As much as I love Serena and Blair together, I like them feuding at the same time. I felt like its been a away since these two really interact with each other. So I like that we are focusing on that again. GO BLAIR!!!! Serena should be jealous of Blair. Not only does she have three guys wanting her, but Blair also made fun of her lack of intelligence.
First off I just want to say that I am not a Dair fan at all. I cannot stand Dan and I don’t want them together. I don’t even want them to be friends, but I was expecting to see that kiss at Lily’s house to be better than the way it was actually played. I didn’t liked that we saw it through a phone. And are we ever going to see how their first kiss truly played out?
Ewwww, I hate that Chuck spent this whole episode with the two people who really don’t have anything to do. The whole Bass vs. Thorpes storyline was boring, so lets not continue it with Raina’s mother.
Yay!!! Louis!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE him. He is so cuuuuttteee. I love him and Blair together. Their kiss at the end was so sweet. Did everyone see stars or was that just me? Hahaha :]
Blair was great as always in this episode. Again she continues to carry the show and does it amazingly.
Next episode looks really good. I wasn’t expecting the proposal to come this early. I thought it would be in the final episode. And I thought there are three episodes left, but I saw it said two in the promo. And I wrong?

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Again people, that 'sex tape' skirt belong to S., don't u remember when B. said something about S. being a good friend and went marching to Serena's closet??
Anyway, congratulations round table, your coments always make me laugh a lot, especially you Gossip Guy. (:

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Two quotes from Dan:
When Blair grabs Dan and says he must follow her
"What do you do when cornered by a bear?" to Charlie Shortly thereafter, a rapid response to Blair´s "suffer for love" remark
"dont get handsy", LOL
Dan & Blair together = Awesomeness

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There needs to be some female perspective on the Gossip Girl Round Table. The testosterone level is far too high! Anyway, how happy am I about Dan's comment to Vanessa? Answer: FDSFKSDFSDKF. Speechlessly ecstatic! On a side note I just have to say: Kill her off already, everyone hates the character. Everytime Raina appears on the screen her beauty sucks my mind away so I hardly know what's going on there, but I don't care. I'm fine with just looking at her gorgeous face.

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There needs to be some female perspective on the Gossip Girl Round Table. The testosterone level is far too high!
Anyway, how happy am I about Dan's comment to Vanessa? Answer: FDSFKSDFSDKF. Speechlessly ecstatic!
On a side note I just have to say: Kill her off already, everyone hates the character.
Everytime Raina appears on the screen her beauty sucks my mind away so I hardly know what's going on there, but I don't care. I'm fine with just looking at her gorgeous face.

Van-ayson

Team Lair!!!

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I agree with @Eliza...I'm still laughing about this passage^^ Because I thought the exact same thing while watchin the show.
As for the Lily storyline. I could imagine that the show is doing a leap in time for season 5 (if there is a season 5). Cosidering Lily is arrested for nine months and I'll go crazy if the whole adult storylines plays at Lily's all the time!
Another possibilty: Something happens and Lily has to leave the penthouse therefore contravened against the law and has to go to prison!

Bubumaelou

1. My most favorite quote last night was Dan's "Just to be clear, we are not friends." OMG. I literally screamed out of triumphant joy! Hopefully, there would be less V screen time in the last two episodes. I mean come on, there's no really use for her now. 2. Well, it's Lily. I have to agree with Mister Meester on this one. Also, I do not care that much about Lily's punishment. Next question. LOL. 3. Again, I do not care. I don't even get why we need to know more about Raina. I don't like her storyline at all. But at least Nate has something to do. 4. Yeah. I think they will but Charlie will definitely help Dan get Blair. 5. Serena's reasoning. I wanted to punch her, seriously. You're gorgeous and all Serena, but people watch Gossip Girl because of Blair so STFU. 6. I'll have to give the VUS a 9 because 1 point goes for that epic scene where Dan shuts the door on her face- she was very useful there. 7. I really want Dair sadly, I think it would be Prince Louis.