The Gossip Girl Reality Index: Tuesday Postmortem

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"While You Weren't Sleeping" featured Eric's 18th birthday, Lily and Chuck joining forces against Thorpe, as well as major Dair moments, as our official review noted.

For further examination, we turn to one of favorite pieces of Gossip Girl media coverage, N.Y. Magazine's patented reality index. Behold, the weekly +/- scale:

  • “There’s been a lot of buildup,” Serena says, lounging in Blair's bedroom. “After a three-year stint in the big house?" Blair replies. "I’d say so.” Plus 3.
  • It's hard to tell whether Rufus is psyched to have a line in the scheme, or if he's just psyched to be given a line on Gossip Girl. Either way, Plus 5.
  • Yesss! It’s been a while since someone gave Chuck a good old-fashioned slap on the mouth. Plus 3. Also: Twist with how that scene panned out!
  • Nate says pot "makes me a better soldier." Plus 2.
18-Year-Old E
  • Gossip Girl spends much of the episode referencing the songs of the Rolling Stones, for no reason that we can fathom. Is Gossip Girl actually a sixty-something man with a vinyl collection and a pervy obsession? Minus 2.
  • Eric’s party has pinatas and Ke$ha blasting. Minus 2. Also, the poor guy's claim that he has no friends appears to actually have borne out ...
  • Raina says she's been having "business in bed" and "portfolio pillow talk" with the guys she's dated her "whole life." She's like 20. Minus 8.
  • Damien gets his coke from Holland? Minus 20.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.

Blair