Hawaii Five-O Review: Welcome to the Boring Jungle

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The Five-O spent most of "E Malama" running around in the jungle, making for one of the most boring and predictable episodes of the season.

Overall, I don't expect much from Hawaii Five-O. I watch this series for the action, occasional explosions, cool tech and, of course, to see very pretty people make snarky comments to each other as they beat up bad guys. If I'm lucky, I get an excellent story with some emotional depth as a bonus.

Mariana Klaveno on Hawaii Five-O

This week, I got about forty-five minutes of Chin and McGarrett sprinting around in the jungle. Not even an exciting forty-five minutes. It was the most basic plot ever.

Storyline-wise, the team had to rescue the witness to a murder who had escaped the assassins sent to her safe house. There was no suspense here at all. I knew that Chin and McGarrett would succeed because the lame killers didn't have names or more than a few lines of dialogue. They might as well have been dressed in red shirts.

As seen above, McGarrett did his best Schwarzenegger impression from Predator, with eye black paint and a log trap that he used to subdue one of the assassins. And to make things more comedic, rather than intense, McGarrett decided to take a call from Danno while he was trying to set up the log trap and be stealthy. Really, that was what the writers came up with?

There was a lot of untapped potential with the entire hunt and chase through the jungle. It could have been a thrilling, even scary, story, but I was never worried that Chin or McGarrett might fail. I was never concerned that the witness might not make it to the trial in time to testify.

It's one thing to know that the good guys win. Still, there should always be something in the story to make the audience doubt the hero's success, that little seed of wondering if everything really will work out in the end.

Kono was underutilized gathering information, though she did get one of the more exciting moments in the show when she stopped the final assassin at the courtroom.

Even the slight saving grace of Danno's side story with his ex-wife and daughter wasn't exactly up to par, despite it being far more gripping than the scenes in the jungle.

It's obvious that the writers are testing the waters to see if the audience really wants Danno and Rachel to get back together. It's unfortunate it has to be done in such a contrived way. Making Stan a bad guy shouldn't be a catalyst for Danno and Rachel to reunite. Even though the trouble Stan was in was sort of thrown aside as a misunderstanding, I have a feeling that Stan's business dealings might turn more sinister. I hope not, though.

Danno did prove a bigger man than I would have been in his situation. His constraint while talking to Stan instead of beating his face in was commendable, as is his protective nature towards his family. It was easily the highlight of a disappointing hour.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (65 Votes)

I would have thought it would have been cool if Rachels husband would have turned out to be the clean up person. Or someone was actually trying to kill him.


I don't get how you don't expect much. This is one of if not the best new show on tv. It's amazing! I think the had a great storyline this week. Did I call that the guys getting out of the cop cars were bad guys yes, but you know in the beginning of the show something bad always happens to get the story line going.
I liked how the separated everyone. It showed that they can carry on their own. I hope Danno and Rachel get back together. His story line wasn't the point of the new hubby is a bad guy but to show just how much he will protect Rachel and their daughter. I loved the phone call. I like how Steve knows that he has a face and Danno has a tone and he could recognize that.
Steve wasn't wearing eye paint to look hard core. He wore it to blend into the jungle. He was trained in the military/navy and they know that you are to blend in. DUH


Agree with the reviewer that this epi was disappointing. I have zero interest in Danny and Rachel and the whole subplot did seem completely contrived and utterly boring. Is this a crime/action drama or The Good Wife? They also dropped the ball in the jungle. Totally cool idea, totally bungled execution. SteveO did not need the face paint to be intimidating and I would have liked to see more action from him. McLaughlin has the action hero chops, let's see some real jungle ball!


I thought this episode was wonderful!!! I disagree with all the critisism...its all bull!!! All their show I look forward to every week. It was fast paced and still had humour as always!! You rock HAWAII FIVE O guys ... you always have my vote!! 100% :)


I only watch for Scott's scenes. I love his character and his comedic timing.


I disagree wholeheartedly with the reviewer. I love this show. The characters continue to grow and come into their own on the team, and Dan is learning to move on. I love the way the locale was switched up this time. It wasn't in the city or on the beach. It was in the jungle - another integral and beautiful part of Hawaii. The humor is great and a wonderful asset to this show, allowing the more human side of law enforcement to emerge. And the action of this show was first rate. I suggest the reviewer take another look at the entertainment value of this wonderful show, and say "Aloha" to her lower expectations.


All of these characters need a little more fleshing out and it seems to be going well. . But Steve on the cell phone when he needs to be quiet was laughable!


Unlike the others I have to agree. My biggest problem though was the swiftness with which Kono arrived to 'kick ass'. Wasn't she at their headquarters? How did she arrive sooner than McGarrett and Chin, who were in the same building ?
And I actually laughed when I saw McGarrett with the eye paint. What, does he carry the stuff with him? He's trying to be stealthy but doesn't turn his phone off, then answers it while he's trying to haul this huge log up into a tree? The trap was lame, too. What, he couldn't take this one guy out?
It was great to see Chin getting to interact emotionally.
The side story with Danno looked like it might get interesting, and would have made a good on-going side story arc, but then they wrapped it up in ten seconds with an episode that would have had Danny up on charges of assault and police brutality.
I love the show, but this was definitely not up to their usual standards.


Good shows have off nights, although this was not one of them for Five-O. I love these characters, jungle scene not my favorite ever, but I was there with them on this. Love Danno! He is a mighty man in all ways in my book. Seeing him acting like a real man inside and out last night was good for the show. Just hearing the music for this show makes me smile. I am addicted...but what a nice way to go! ;)


Well you obviously did not get the point. It produced a side of command and control that they each can operate independently but at the same time as a unit. It gave us some good emoting time, especially for Williams. It opens the door for Williams to move on. Lots of doors. It showed another side to Chin, stronger, more in control, more confident team member. It gave Kono a change to show her kick a** ability and maturation into the job. It's an hour, dude. They had a few hours to get the witness back; not a week.

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Hawaii Five-0 Season 1 Episode 16 Quotes

If the witness comes back this way you get her straight to the courthouse. If the shooters come back you put them down, and make sure they stay down.


Danno: You know what the greatest invention of all time is?
Chin: What?
Danno: The ignore button. I have a theory that whoever invented the modern cellular phone also had an ex-wife.