Californication Review: "Lights. Camera. A$$hole."
I’d like to pretend that I was just as surprised as Hank to learn Spanx for men in fact came out months ago, but then I would be insulting the very lovely person who got me one of the shirts like Charlie was wearing for Christmas (you know who you are).
While I blushed with embarrassment, Charlie danced with glee as he told Hank that Sasha was back on board with the movie and that he also got his best client a job helping her with her lines in her new movie Slowly We Rot 2.
Only Hank would get paid a hundred thousand to spend a week polishing Sasha’s dialogue while she polished his log. The news was definitely deserving of the “Good News Dance.”
Please, PLEASE Victoria, tell me your secret! Sasha’s push up was definitely working over time as she hung out that second story window on set in "Lights. Camera. Asshole."
That piece lingerie deserved it’s own SAG card after the work it put in. While I wiped the drool from my chin I happily noted Dick (Todd Louiso) from High Fidelity’s cameo as Sasha’s director.
Speaking of high fidelity, Hank almost puked in his mouth when Becca stayed true to her family’s most prized virtue of honesty while under the influence and lamented how she couldn’t convince a guy to allow her to perform fellatio on him.
All his years of exposing her to the realities of life got thrown back in his face and the taste of his own medicine almost brought him to chunks.
I loved the exchange between these two as Becca informed Hank that she was not a happy camper followed by his sarcastic response that he hadn’t noticed. As much as I liked this scene I couldn’t help but notice that Becca didn’t seem all that messed up.
I mean did Pearl really have to call her father to come get her? I know it was a convenient way to get the two of them together in a truth revealing moment, but I guess I just figured the Queens of Dogtown partied a little harder than that.
I mean do you think Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles called Debbi Peterson’s dad the first time she couldn’t walk like an Egyptian in a straight line?
So glad Karen was there with Marcy at the doctor’s office. It really seemed as if Marci was scared to be happy. I liked how Stu admitted his love of Marcy’s verbal diarrhea like the rest of us.
Despite the obvious visual horror of seeing Stu in a Speedo, it was rather cute to see him do the Good News Dance in his red banana hammock while trying not to burn his feet. And despite her attraction for him I do think we will see her and Charlie back together again in the end.
While she sorts out her feelings though Charlie looked like he may have found a new and psychotic lover in Peggy. My jaw is still bruised from when it hit the ground after the line she dropped as she climaxed about how her daddy “hates it when she fucks the slaves?”
I initially loved how she wasn’t squeamish about Charlie and his choice of erotica, but this woman is like all of Hank’s wildest encounters wrapped into one. The whole routine was impressive what with the choking request, the role playing, the slap she dished out to Charlie’s face and then to stick the landing like that with her final comment was just tens across the board. Apparently we haven’t seen the last of her and next week really heats things up.
Hank walked into the hotel bar and the bartender slid a drink right to him. Julia (Callie Thorne) teased him for being such a regular, but to me Hank seemed more like the anti Norm. He wants to go someplace where nobody knows his name except for maybe the bartender. A place where the scotch is old and neat and the women are young and dirty.
When Sasha skulked up to her mom at the bar wearing a tee shirt and jean jacket it reminded me of Becca. I never really noticed how drastic the age difference was between her and Hank until she was standing next to her mother.
Julia really seemed to like her age appropriate encounter, but when she realized this wasn’t Hank’s first dive into her family’s DNA pool, she went from craving more “D” to dropping F bombs as she stormed out of his room with her panties in a bunch around her Kevlar ass.
Another great song choice this week as Tommy Lee took us out with “Home Sweet Home” as Hank pondered Julia’s parting words. Hank has always been a dreamer but one with a heart of gold. Julia nailed it, Hank’s little devil may care act certainly is charming and romantic, but it can’t last forever.
The time will come when it will be Last Call for Hank, when the women just won’t come sliding down the bar to him the moment he sits down like a glass of scotch. Nothing he hasn’t heard before, but I definitely got the impression that Hank was thinking of Karen and Becca as this week’s episode came to a close.
Karen though has seemed happy and interested in pursuing Ben further and Becca is growing up and finding other means of coping rather than turning to her dad for advice.
Hanks day in court still looms, as he in fact makes it back to home sweet home in an episode that will both literally and figuratively feature some intense run-ins.
Until then, here's to remembering to always keep a spare handcuff key in your wallet and here’s to difficult daughters and mothers who drink with strangers. Cheers, Cheers, Cheers.