Modern Family

The title of this week's Modern Family episode was ironic. Because there was little revelatory about "Dance Dance Revelation."

We've seen almost all these pairings before, from Phil cowering in the presence of Jay to Claire clashing with Gloria to Mitchell and Cam blaming each other for whatever Lily-related trauma is on their parental plate.

It wasn't difficult to predict where many storylines, or even individual scenes, were going, either: of course Lily was the biter at the playground; of course the janitor was bringing that towel to Gloria; of course the parking spot stealer would turn out to be a nice guy.

Fortunately, Manny was around to be his typically panicked, mature self. What does flag on the play mean?!? Here we go again with the village! At this rate, I'm going to miss the first dance...at my wedding! That kid just kills me.

Cam also had a couple great lines, from mocking the notion of a smiley-face emoticon to singing away Lily's troubling habit. Don't worry, readers, we've listed his creative lyrics below, along with other Modern Family quotes from a subpar episode:

Take a bite of apple, take a bite of a pear
Take a bite of the cookie that you left over there.
Here’s one thing you should never do:
Don’t bite Taylor, or Brandon, or Sue!
Because people aren’t rude; people aren’t food.
Your friends will run away if they’re scared of being chewed.
And as a side note, private parts are private.

Cam: She bit me! Ow! She did it again! It's like Twilight back here! | permalink

Cam: She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: You know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right? | permalink

Phil: Or you could just be nice and pay it forward. They don't make movies out of bad ideas. | permalink

Cam: We'll be on her like white on rice... which might sound racist because we're white and she, presumably, like rice. | permalink

Luke: Here's something I didn't know about mannequins: They don't have a wiener. | permalink