Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Hurt Locket"

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Welcome to TV Fanatic's Gossip Girl Round Table!

The show finally returned last night, and our staff members have gathered to review the events of "The Hurt Locket" and discuss the developments to come.

This week's topics include memorable quotes, Serenate and Chair staying power, Jenny's drug kingpin status, and the motives of the mysterious Elizabeth ...

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1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote last night?

DANdy: I could cite any one of a number classic Blair Waldorf quotes, but let's go with: "I love you, Chuck, and I'll always be your family." Self-centered and spoiled though she may be, Blair always says the right thing when needed.

Gossip Guy: I hate to be the cheeseball of the Round Table 'cause that's so not me, but I have to give it up to Blair's sweet words to Chuck: "Doesn't mean you've alone. I love you, Chuck, and I'll always be your family." Geesh, it almost brought me to tears again just writing it. Kidding, that's totally the dust in the room. I shouldn't have let Dorota spend the holidays with Vanya.

Mister Meester: A tie between Blair likening her advice to clogs, and Jenny asking Nate why he takes advice from "a guy who has a Cabbage Patch doll." Classic line because that's her own brother, and for bringing back the recurring character of Cedric.

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2. Last night's episode: Boring, or a good setup for things to come?

DANdy: Boring?!? Did your screen go blank during the Serena sex scenes? I'm excited to see Jenny go totally rogue, Chuck search for his mother and Serena do anything.

Gossip Guy: I'm going to have to disagree with our mediocre review of "The Hurt Locket." I was a big fan. While not the finest episode of Gossip Girl ever, it did managed to set up the second half of season three (it really was like a season premiere!), while still giving us coat room sex. Plus no Vanessa. What more could you ask out of an episode?

Mister Meester: It was good for what it was. At times, I thought it fell a little short of past episodes, but that's by design, as many of these story lines are in their infancy.

3. Should Jenny quit school to become a full-time drug mule?

DANdy: Yes. At least if she smuggles drugs via her stomach, she'll have something in there aside from iceberg lettuce.

Gossip Guy: Quick note: When did Jenny get so good looking? Apparently this girl cleans up nice when she lays off the raccoon makeup and loads up with girly pink lipstick. Back to the question: absolutely. This girl has found a way to combine her passion for fashion with drug dealing? She'll be the biggest innovator in the drug trafficking industry. I expect to see her on the cover of High Times by season end.

Mister Meester: Definitely. We know she doesn't give a $h!t about school or being a role model. Oh, wait, that's Taylor Momsen ... but probably applies to Jenny too.

4. Which couple will last longer: Serenate or Chair?

Gossip Guy: Holy crap. I have been the biggest supporter of Chair since the start of the series, but I think Serenate just won me over. I'm not convinced there's a better looking couple on the planet. Sorry, Penn, I'm kicking you out because I need to see what the baby of Chace Crawford and Blake Lively would look like. I think it would be the pinnacle of man's achievements. Or at the very least somewhere between sliced bread and this here Interweb.

DANdy: Serenate. You know what they say: sex in a coat closet, while a drug-filled jacket lies on the floor, is always the start of something long-lasting and special.

Mister Meester: Okay, Serena and Nate burned a hole in the screen they were so hot together. But to put them in the same league with Chair after one episode? All I can think of is that Blair and Nate were dating, then Nate slept with Serena, then began dating Vanessa, and possibly Jenny, then Blair again, then Bree, etc., etc. Serena, meanwhile, dated Dan for a year, then was fairly serious with Carter this fall. My point. Serenate, hot as they are, needs some getting used to. They're no Chair just yet (our Serenate-Chair poll seems to back me up).

Mister Bass

5. Is Elizabeth Fisher really Chuck's mom?

Mister Meester: No way. This whole thing reeks of a Jack Bass setup, a revenge plot to get close enough to destroy Chuck. The only question is what his endgame is. If I'm right, what does he hope to accomplish with this masquerade?

DANdy: Yes. The last name says it all: Fisher? Bass? Come on. Must I draw you a diagram?!?

Gossip Guy: Oh for sure. As Chuck said, everyone says he looks like his mom and there's a striking resemblance. Now we just need to know why she gave him up to Bart to raise...

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Kami

AndrePattinson-
I was thinking something along these lines, like what if Bart wasn't Chuck's real dad. But wouldn't his will have said "Chuck Bass" in it, so it doesn't really matter. The company should still be his.

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lol, Chair&Naley, "Good catch"

Ilychucknblair

Woah.
I didn't even notice the Fisher/Bass thing.
Good catch!

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the whole fisher/bass thing is a good point!
and i loled so hard when i read the thing about a chace/blake baby! and yeah, you're right, their baby would be haw-ot!

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I loved chair scenes in this episode they are so sweet as a real couple. i loved when she kissed his cheek after telling him he is not alone and that she is his family. it made me want to cry. i am still not into the serenate relationship. they could be something but i don't know if i will ever see them the way i see chair. both couples did start similarly. both had one of the pair sleeping with the others best friend. chair jujst had to fight more for their relationship. jenny was good tonight back to herself a little. rufus is a hypocrite. he slept with lily the night before she was supposed to marry bart so how can he not realize that this is something she might do. Just a theory but what if jack is really chucks father and and bart knew this and it is why he sent the mom away but she always loved bart but because she lied to him he couldn't have her be a part of society and make him look like a fool and why jack is always kept so far away and why he did not get the company. this could also be why he wasn't ever able to be close to chuck. just a far fetched idea but it could be something.

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Oh my God, for that episode to be the comeback episode for Gossip Girl was really pathetic. There was almost no drama.
Nate and Serena have no chemistry at all together. They are just a bunch of blondes with bad acting skills going at it. Who cares if they were meant to hook up since the show began, they suck and nothing will change that. And they have no one to blame but the actor and actress.
Jenny was a little overbearing for me with her boring drug storyline and her whole relationship with Damien, but I prefer them over SereNate any day.
Dan was my second favorite part of the show and so was Vanessa. Why? There was almost none to none of them in the episode. Yay!!! Please keep it that way.
Chuck and Blair storyline was the only interesting and heart-warming one in the episode. I feel so bad for my baby. He was so miserable throughout the entire episode and then to find out the truth, but to have the truth backfired really hurt him. I love how Blair was always there for him and how she chose to be with Chuck over her society meet. How much do we love Chair? I’m really excited to find who the woman really is.
I do not want Jack Bass to come back!!!
Chair Forever.

Andre-pattinson

I have a theoric but is pretty out-there so bear with me: what if Chuck is adopted!? I mean, what if Bart and "C's mother" adopted Chuck from this woman and Jack find out and we all know that he wants the Bass money and taking Chuck out of the picture would make him the only live relative... Like I say is pretty out-there.

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finally the perfect couples are together. Love Serenate together,i want to see there whole relationship play out.

Al-in-germany

1) Jenny questioning Nate "you're taking advice from someone who has a Cabbage Patch Doll?" Nice family awareness Little J. 2) Both. The first half was a boring recap of all the stories they should have put into their own episode, but couldn't because of the hiatus. The second half with the party was pretty good and sets up the next few episodes nicely. 3) The drug mule work is an extra-curricular activity for J. It's nice that she got to combine her love of drugs with her love of fashion though. Lets see more of that. 4) Which couple will last longer... Chair or Serenate...??? Chair has lasted since the summer, so they have the advantage, but I think both are more interesting as frustrated singles rather than loving couples. 5) No she isn't! That would be a piece of fuckery akin to Bobby Ewing stepping out of the shower and declaring that everything that had happened in the last year had been a dream.

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Favorite quote; besides Blair just being the perfect girlfriend to Chuck :)
"It’s Anna Karenina — you never read it. Don’t worry about it."
LOL'ed.

Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 13 Quotes

Serena: Did I tell you that he texts me every night before he goes to sleep? It's so sweet.
Blair: Sexting is not sweet. It's off-limits until you're in a relationship.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Seems Dickens knew something about life on the Upper East Side.

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