Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Hurt Locket"

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Welcome to TV Fanatic's Gossip Girl Round Table!

The show finally returned last night, and our staff members have gathered to review the events of "The Hurt Locket" and discuss the developments to come.

This week's topics include memorable quotes, Serenate and Chair staying power, Jenny's drug kingpin status, and the motives of the mysterious Elizabeth ...

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1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote last night?

DANdy: I could cite any one of a number classic Blair Waldorf quotes, but let's go with: "I love you, Chuck, and I'll always be your family." Self-centered and spoiled though she may be, Blair always says the right thing when needed.

Gossip Guy: I hate to be the cheeseball of the Round Table 'cause that's so not me, but I have to give it up to Blair's sweet words to Chuck: "Doesn't mean you've alone. I love you, Chuck, and I'll always be your family." Geesh, it almost brought me to tears again just writing it. Kidding, that's totally the dust in the room. I shouldn't have let Dorota spend the holidays with Vanya.

Mister Meester: A tie between Blair likening her advice to clogs, and Jenny asking Nate why he takes advice from "a guy who has a Cabbage Patch doll." Classic line because that's her own brother, and for bringing back the recurring character of Cedric.

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2. Last night's episode: Boring, or a good setup for things to come?

DANdy: Boring?!? Did your screen go blank during the Serena sex scenes? I'm excited to see Jenny go totally rogue, Chuck search for his mother and Serena do anything.

Gossip Guy: I'm going to have to disagree with our mediocre review of "The Hurt Locket." I was a big fan. While not the finest episode of Gossip Girl ever, it did managed to set up the second half of season three (it really was like a season premiere!), while still giving us coat room sex. Plus no Vanessa. What more could you ask out of an episode?

Mister Meester: It was good for what it was. At times, I thought it fell a little short of past episodes, but that's by design, as many of these story lines are in their infancy.

3. Should Jenny quit school to become a full-time drug mule?

DANdy: Yes. At least if she smuggles drugs via her stomach, she'll have something in there aside from iceberg lettuce.

Gossip Guy: Quick note: When did Jenny get so good looking? Apparently this girl cleans up nice when she lays off the raccoon makeup and loads up with girly pink lipstick. Back to the question: absolutely. This girl has found a way to combine her passion for fashion with drug dealing? She'll be the biggest innovator in the drug trafficking industry. I expect to see her on the cover of High Times by season end.

Mister Meester: Definitely. We know she doesn't give a $h!t about school or being a role model. Oh, wait, that's Taylor Momsen ... but probably applies to Jenny too.

4. Which couple will last longer: Serenate or Chair?

Gossip Guy: Holy crap. I have been the biggest supporter of Chair since the start of the series, but I think Serenate just won me over. I'm not convinced there's a better looking couple on the planet. Sorry, Penn, I'm kicking you out because I need to see what the baby of Chace Crawford and Blake Lively would look like. I think it would be the pinnacle of man's achievements. Or at the very least somewhere between sliced bread and this here Interweb.

DANdy: Serenate. You know what they say: sex in a coat closet, while a drug-filled jacket lies on the floor, is always the start of something long-lasting and special.

Mister Meester: Okay, Serena and Nate burned a hole in the screen they were so hot together. But to put them in the same league with Chair after one episode? All I can think of is that Blair and Nate were dating, then Nate slept with Serena, then began dating Vanessa, and possibly Jenny, then Blair again, then Bree, etc., etc. Serena, meanwhile, dated Dan for a year, then was fairly serious with Carter this fall. My point. Serenate, hot as they are, needs some getting used to. They're no Chair just yet (our Serenate-Chair poll seems to back me up).

Mister Bass

5. Is Elizabeth Fisher really Chuck's mom?

Mister Meester: No way. This whole thing reeks of a Jack Bass setup, a revenge plot to get close enough to destroy Chuck. The only question is what his endgame is. If I'm right, what does he hope to accomplish with this masquerade?

DANdy: Yes. The last name says it all: Fisher? Bass? Come on. Must I draw you a diagram?!?

Gossip Guy: Oh for sure. As Chuck said, everyone says he looks like his mom and there's a striking resemblance. Now we just need to know why she gave him up to Bart to raise...

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

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Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 13 Quotes

Serena: Did I tell you that he texts me every night before he goes to sleep? It's so sweet.
Blair: Sexting is not sweet. It's off-limits until you're in a relationship.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Seems Dickens knew something about life on the Upper East Side.

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