How To Fix Heroes
Despite its ranking as the lowest-rated show on network television, and despite the fact that many of the most passionate Heroes defenders have turned on the show after an anti-climactic, boring season finale, NBC has not officially axed this once-great drama.
The same knuckleheads that forced out Conan O'Brien after seven months as host of The Tonight Show are actually considering another season of Heroes because... well, they have few alternatives.
Samuel's accent was just one of several inconsistencies that plagued season four of Heroes.
If the series does return, we might as well offer a few suggestions for how it can stop sucking. We're no longer fooling ourselves into thinking it can ever go back to season one quality, but if Tim Kring and company follow these ideas, perhaps it won't be the laughing stock of TV critics around the country...
- Get rid of Tracy, Mohinder and Ando. Yes, the first two are somehow still characters on the show. It's utterly asinine to ask viewers to care about people that pop up randomly every 10 episodes. No need to kill them off. Just utter two lines about their whereabouts next year and be done with it. Ando, meanwhile, serves no purpose other than to banter with Hiro in Japanese.
- Don't ever mention a premonition dream ever again. Nothing gets to the heart of this show's lazy writing more than this plot device. Take the time to actually build suspense, as opposed to creating a supposedly exciting storyline simply because Angela announces she saw something happen.
- No more time travel. If this means actually killing off Hiro, so be it.
- Remember the name of the show. When was the last time anyone did anything heroic? Claire whines about her lot in life, Sylar is full of internal angst, Parkman literally hasn't left home in weeks. Have characters interact with actual, non-special human beings and not seem like self-absorbed, confused narcissists at all times.
- Have a plan. This is the key factor for any solid series. Kring has admitted he and the staff don't draw out the full season ahead of time - and, man, does it show! Samuel spent 15 episodes just talking this year, not actually taking action until an event outside of anything seen or built up before (his ex rejecting him) took place.
Was there any "a-ha!" moment in season four? Did it ever feel like events fell naturally into place and followed a thought-out path when you retraced them back a few episodes?
In other words, Heroes staff, this is all we're asking if you still have a job this fall: just write a season that makes sense. Yes, things have fallen so far that we'll settle for mere logic.
You tell us: HOW WOULD YOU FIX HEROES?