Two and a Half Men Review: "Fat Jokes, Pie, & Celeste"

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Last night was the first new episode of Two and a Half Men since Charlie Sheen was arrested for assault and we're curious to see how the episode fares in the ratings.  As fans of the show, we were unphased and Charlie was still Charlie to us.  We're just curious how the American population feels.

Well, the's enough celebrity gossip talk for us.  On to our actual review of the epiosde, "Fat Jokes, Pie, & Celeste."  The episode started off perfectly... by shipping Chelsea off.  I think every episode this season should just start following that formula if they insist on keeping her around.

Alan Yells at Jake

Normally, Jake is shoved off to the side and is just the butt of the jokes.  However, this week, Jake almost like one of the guys, dishing back at Charlie as much, if not more than he was taking.  We're easily up to Two and Three-Quarters Men at this point.  We actually really enjoyed the storyline as Jake mourned the end of his relationship.

Meanwhile, Alan and Herb (Ryan Stiles) really shined as these star-crossed lovers were kept separated by Judith.  These two goofy actors were able to perfectly walk the line between friendshpip and lovers without making things too awkward and keeping it funny.

Overall, this was a great installment in the season and we hope to see plenty more Chelsea-less editions in the future.  Now for our favorite Two and a Half Men quotes by Charlie, Alan and Jake:

Alan: This might have been the worst date of my life.
Charlie: Did she dress you in a leather bustier and tie you to a bed?
Alan: No.
Charlie: Did she super glue a model car to your balls?
Alan: No.
Charlie: Did she talk you into trying on one of mom's dresses while she stole your wallet?
Alan: No.
Charlie: Then this wasn't even your worst date this month.
Alan: No, I suppose. And thanks for the highlight reel, by the way. | permalink
Charlie: Girls don't generally respond to desperation.
Jake: How do you know?
Charlie: Are you kidding? I've been watching your father get shot down for twenty five years. It's like living with an air force training film. | permalink
Jake: I think she was the one.
Charlie: The one what?
Jake: The one that I thought was pretty and liked me and was gonna maybe let me do stuff to her one day. | permalink
Charlie: Look at the bright side, you got a great song out of it. Twelve more girls piss on you and you got an album, or a fetish. | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 12 Quotes

Alan: This might have been the worst date of my life.
Charlie: Did she dress you in a leather bustier and tie you to a bed?
Alan: No.
Charlie: Did she super glue a model car to your balls?
Alan: No.
Charlie: Did she talk you into trying on one of mom's dresses while she stole your wallet?
Alan: No.
Charlie: Then this wasn't even your worst date this month.
Alan: No, I suppose. And thanks for the highlight reel, by the way.

Let's see, what's the proper wine for the occasion? Oh, who cares? Everything goes with ass-biting.

Charlie