Each Gossip Girl episode is reviewed by New York Magazine, then assigned a score according to their staff's arbitrary but hilarious "realism index."

Here are some of the highlights, both realistic and otherwise, from the publication's meticulous analysis of week's show, "The Ex-Files" ...

• Plus 2 for Lily finally coming home. And an additional Plus 1 for the fact that her version of "caring" for her kids is overordering room service. Plus 2.

• Didn't they just befriend Nelly Yuki to bring her down? Why is she still hanging around? Is it seriously because the other Asian girl left the show? Minus 2.

• "Having to see him," Serena admits to Lily, "it's going to be hard." She seems so sweet and unsure, huh? Our immediate reaction was: "Aw, that's sweet. This will change." Plus 4, because we were so right.

• Wait, did Nate just randomly (and awkwardly) catch up with Vanessa on a random Brooklyn street corner? What, is Brooklyn Chelsea now? Minus 1.

• "Are those Tory Burch's last-season flats?" Blair asks. "I got them on sale?" the poor girl replies. Plus 3, because Blair's expression does not change a tic, but somehow gets TEN TIMES MORE EVIL. Leighton Meester is a genius.

• "I guess it's better to be ignored than tortured," Jenny says. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh, Lil J. Obviously, that's not true. Minus 2.

• Serena thinks it’s a good idea to try to be friends with Dan. "Friends eat lunch together," she says hopefully. Awkward. Also, completely realistic. Plus 5.

• This new "Amanda" girl is too aggressive. It's like she's up to something. Minus 2, because this should have been less obvious.

• Ha, Amanda is is kind of Hannah Montana–esque. Plus 1 for Jenny Humphrey, who is completely master of her domain this season.

• Dan says to Vanessa, "Look, V, I gotta go." What, he talks like them now!? Minus 2, because he's too self-centered to pick up on mannerisms of others.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.