Gossip Girl: The Real Deal Report II

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Every week, New York Magazine profiles the most recent episode of Gossip Girl and asks: which parts of the show are realistic? And which are more far-fetched than Britney Spears spending a quiet night at home?

This week's feature focuses on the fact that the series pretty much tells us there are only three or four colleges in the entire country. Here's what else the magazine had to say about the show's depiction of life on the Upper East Side...

We'll Buy It!
• Blair: "My father left my mother for a 31-year-old model. A male model." That's just awesome.

Poor Dan
• "Super-successful parents expect nothing less from their offspring. And when it comes to college, that means the Ivies. It's more than just getting into college, it's setting a course for the rest of your life. And those who aren't legacies are no exception. When parents have sacrificed for their children, what kid would want to let them down?" It may not be how your parents would have put it, but the sentiment is uncomfortably still the same.

• Blair's two sidekicks donned fake Steve Urkel glasses for the Ivy Mixer. Who hasn't tried to look geek-hot when the situation fits?

• An underclassmen a cappella group sings Fergie's "Glamorous." In chapel. Okay, singing it in a house of God may be a stretch, but high school a cappella is just that absurd.

That's a Bit Rich
• "Brown doesn't offer degrees in Slut." Wait: you can make your own major at Brown. So, Blair, Serena can major in Slut if she wants to. And she can do it Pass/Fail!

• It's beginning to be offensive how every time they cut to the Humphrey's "Williamsburg" apartment, they show a building directly Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.

• Blair wears a Marni belt during field-hockey practice. Even she knows grass stains don't come out of white leather.

• Dan (Penn Badgley) is number two in the class at his snooty Upper East Side private school? Then why does he want to go to Dartmouth?

• After Serena stands up for her brother and makes it seem as though she's the one in rehab, someone purrs, "''I Was A High School Addict' is not an ideal college essay." Um, actually, that would be the BEST COLLEGE ESSAY EVER. She'd definitely get into Yale with that.

• Nate's dad wants him to go to Dartmouth. He actually calls it the "old alma mater. But Nate, face flickering impressively from "blank" to "blank/tortured" — acting! — says he wants to go "out West." Presumably so he can join the cast of some other show. We swear the crap about his "future" was cribbed straight from the script of Freddie Prinze Jr. movie She's All That. (How gay is it that we know that?)

• Serena and Dan are flirting together again. Yay! Oh, and their little siblings are flirting with each other, too. Hm. And wait, their parents have already slept together? Uh-oh, we smell something gross.

• Nate (Chace Crawford) is always waking up on Chuck's hotel-room couch. But Chuck (who also implausibly drives to school in a stretch limo, so tacky) owns the hotel. Can't he get a suite with two beds? Or are we just preparing ourselves for some excellent bonus features on the unrated DVD set of the first season?

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination. And if you refuse to come, I'm gonna need to find a replacement... girls, the waiting list?